Welcome To The Gutter: Right-Wing 527 Hits New Low

Welcome To The Gutter: Right-Wing 527 Hits New Low

As if we needed a reminder that the 2008 Presidential Election is poised to become the most embarrassing, shame-filled miasma of our lifetimes, a 527 group calling themselves Citizens United Not Timid has been formed to basically ensure that the voices of misogynist reprobates and their opinions on the Hillary Clinton campaign will be heard. The organization takes great pains to put the first letters in their four word name in boldface, and just so you get the point, their crude logo hammers the message home.

These nimrods should not be confused with Citizens United, who are also an anti-Hillary group who at least went to the trouble to make a movie about the candidate that no one's likely to see or care about. What you need to know about this group that bases its whole existence on a pejorative term for the female anatomy is that it's basically been founded by Roger Stone, who cut his teeth in dirty, political hackery in the Nixon administration and whose latest claim to fame was prank-calling Eliot Spitzer's father.

But Stone is merely the man behind the scenes of this cowardly, lowbrow font of dickery. Some guy named "Noodles" is ostensibly running the group. "Noodles" is some Florida-based bartender-slash-DJ -- the sort of person you'd expect to have at least one hand in the local meth game and knee-deep in statutory rape allegations, but all of that really doesn't lend itself to a snappy acronym, does it?

Actually, the origin story of this 527 is pretty hilarious. As it turns out, "Noodles" sort of fell into the role of the frontman after the person who provided the inspirado for the organization turned out to be too dirty even for Stone:

A few nights prior, Stone had been interviewing a sinister Italian gentleman for the front man gig. It was a two-question interview. Stone kicked things off with, "Let me ask you, Angelo: I say 'Hillary Clinton.' Tell me the first word that comes to your mind, even if it's risqué." "[Special flower]," Angelo immediately replied. To which Stone followed with, "Would you be willing to tell other people you think that?" Angelo assented: "Abso-f'in'-lutely."

With the interview concluded, Angelo excused himself to the restroom, at which time one of Stone's friends asked, "Do you know who that is?" "No," Stone said, "Who is he? Nice guy." His friend explained, "He's one of the soldiers of the Lucchese family, has a record as long as your arm. I don't think he's the guy you want."

Yeah. And seeing that the organization's entire raison d'etre seems to be the sale of a stupid t-shirt, and that Stone has positioned himself as the group's "assistant treasurer," I'd guess that setting up a mobster as your patsy isn't a very wise idea.

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