I’ve worked in the medical field for many years. Often, I try not to stand on the shaky wooden platform that is medicine...because, well, we all have room for improvement. And the last thing I want to do is come off better than anyone else. Because, I’ll be the first to tell you. I’m not.
However, I can’t help but share a little story.
In January I often think of one patient who made an impact on me and my awareness for women’s health.
This lovely lady, in her mid 70s, had worked tirelessly through the holidays. She had out-of-town guests to host. Meals to make. Gifts to wrap. And several errands to run each day to ensure that everyone had a memorable holiday. All of it was going precisely as planned. Until January 2nd. The last guest had returned home, and finally she pulled her husband aside.
“I think I had a heart attack.”
He scrambled to his feet and rushed her to the hospital. Oblivious of the quiet pain that she had endured days before. By the time doctors were able to treat her, the heart muscle was irreversibly damaged. Due to complications and delay of her care, she had several medical setbacks before she could return home again.
I always felt sad about her case. Because I couldn’t help but think about how things may have been different if she had listened to what her body was initially trying to say. Asking her to slow down. To quiet herself enough to hear the warning signs before it was too late.
I think about how women are the great multitaskers of society. We wear badges of honor when we can make dinner, help with homework, and mend a sock all at once without batting an eye. Do loads of laundry the day we come home after giving birth. Have a dinner table elegantly set with a homemade dessert in the oven on our day off. We research future colleges for our children before they complete preschool. Pick out groceries on a shelf while on a conference call.
This is not to say that our male counterparts aren’t capable of doing all these things. Capable of keeping a home. Of keeping the kids alive between the hours of 5-9pm. Or able to chip away at our endless to-do-list paired with delicate patience. We just don’t want to bother anyone but ourselves. Because we are often told by society that we have to be the ones to fuss over unnecessary details. Details that we count on in some way. In the fabric of it all, we’ve become the meticulous weavers that reason our efforts, no matter the toll on ourselves, is worth it. The tapestry of life thrives with it. We thrive in it.
We go on, keeping ourselves busy. Too busy to notice our own body organs shutting down from all the stress. We ignore our own pleas to stop and slow down. We push through. Because this is what our mothers and their mothers inherently taught us. How far do we have to go before the voice inside us is finally holding up a microphone?
It’s so easy to put ourselves on the end of the ongoing list. To place our needs below those we take care of, who need us. What we don’t realize, is that we need us. To be able to put up with the demands that we place on ourselves, you have to keep your health and well-being at the top. Make yourself a priority. Pay attention. Take note.
These next few months (the “let down” months), I encourage women of the world, to dedicate to your own well-being. Give one last gift this season: the gift of self nurturing. Drink fluids. Eat plenty of vegetables and fruits. Go to sleep earlier. Take a walk outside. Read with hot tea. Try to put the good in. Learn to ask for help. It’s okay, they can handle it. So much love, support and energy go into to the people who matter to us. And we should never regret that. However, we need to give ourselves the same, equal treatment. You’ve earned your place up there with all of those wonderful people in your life.
The Christmas wreaths are put away. The leftover containers have been cleaned out. The linens have been washed and folded. If they’re not, who cares. Put your unreasonable demands in the drawer next to the unused batteries. And feel free to use that as a metaphor.