Welcome to the Mommy Wars

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It’s that time again Moms. I hope you’ve trained well. Soon you’ll be scored on your willingness to bake cupcakes and attend field trips. Your fundraising skills will weigh heavily on your rankings and sharp and motivated newcomers may threaten your position within the herd. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Just last night, I attended my daughter’s preschool open house. While she made a beeline for toys on display, my husband and I were assaulted with a table full of sign-ups and waivers. Did we waive the legal right to sue? Could our child’s image be used on their website? How many days a week would we like to volunteer in the classroom? Would we bring in homemade play-doh? Would we be interested in attending a planning meeting for Fall Festival? Did we understand we’d be kicked out if our child didn’t arrive on time every day forever because only parents who care nothing about their child’s education bring them to school late?

So good news for you Olympic hopefuls: you can have my Mommy medals. I won’t even be in the running this year. In fact, you can go ahead and draft my “under-achiever” name tag. When you have your planning meeting for the Fall Festival, or meet for coffee and vent about the lack of classroom volunteers you probably won’t even know my name. You’ll refer to me as “the one who always comes in late and looks so tired.” You may ever wonder aloud, “What my deal is, anyway?” So I’ll tell you.

I’m sick­– several different kinds of sick, actually. Many days I struggle just to get out of bed. Getting my daughter ready for school and out the door is nothing short of a Herculean task for me. I have an incomplete immune system, which simply cannot tolerate the germy days of classroom volunteering even if I had the stamina. Many days, I’ll be in too much pain from various flares to make it back to school in time to pick my daughter up. I’ll call a friend at the last minute, who’ll save the day once again.

My daughter and I on her first day of preschool.
My daughter and I on her first day of preschool.

The thing is, I was losing the Mommy Wars long before sickness overwhelmed me. Even when it was mostly a backdrop to my life and I was still teaching, laying out my own table of waivers and syllabus, I didn’t have what it takes. Even then, I struggled to make financial ends meet which often meant working multiple jobs. I simply lacked the resources to run with the pack.

So while the best and the brightest, the strongest and the fiercest are all competing to prove they can do the most, and they can do it better than anyone else–––I’ll be doing the best I can to get by. I’ll be fighting my fight and offering all of me to the people that matter most.

And if this year, you don’t bring home the gold, don’t worry–there’s always next year. And if you should decide competition isn’t your thing after all, then know I’ll be cheering you on.

Find me on : For Every Mom

Join me over at : Parent.co

Follow my journey on : chronicallywhole.com