MEDIA

Well, So Much For Handling The Paris Story With Dignity

Paris Hilton was released from jail last night — perhaps you've heard? Just after midnight Pacific Time, she was released from the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, to the tearful sniffles of a few deputies, according to TMZ, which was on it. ETP had conked out with the TV on and woke up groggily at 3 a.m. to the pre-release excitement on FoxNews: Aerial shots of the Hilton home! Breathless anticipation! Heli-cams! — all of which broke various rules we set yesterday, surprisingly enough. Paris herself — herself! In the flesh! — was released at approximately 12:15 am PT, walking out of the jail toward her parents in a waiting car to an explosion of flashbulbs on either side. The footage looked not too different from shots of Paris on various runways; one almost expected her to stop and do a three-quarter turn. The frenzy continued unabated as Hilton got into the car, and then as the car inched along, trying not to kill any of the thronging paparazzi, or maybe not trying all that hard.

Happy in the knowledge that Paris was safe with her family, and mildly covetous of her very cute just-got-out-of-jail top (look for knockoffs at Forever 21 shortly!), ETP conked out again, to wake yet again to
discussions of Paris on Fox. Fox & Friends weekend anchor Alisyn Camerota re-introduced the news thusly: "Lock up your children, Paris is loose. Pun intended." Classy! Subsequently, Steve Doocy and friends quizzed Marie Osmond on what she thought of Paris, thus breaking a few more of those rules mentioned above.

Also, Paris Hilton's release-from-jail photo is on the front page of the New York Times and LA Times websites. If you need any more information than this, you know where to find it.