I went to college. My degree is currently unframed and collecting dust in my hall closet, right next to all of the other things that I won't get rid of because I'll use them "someday."
Moms may not need that piece of paper for the day-to-day tasks of being a parent, but I'd bet that those college degrees say a lot about our parenting styles.
Your child's favorite saying is, "But you SAID..."
Your toddler can't count to 10, but she knows the difference between "who" and "whom."
3. CRIMINAL JUSTICE
You show your second grader episodes of Scared Straight when he forgets to turn in his homework.
You are legitimately excited for the day when your child finally starts to ask you "why?" after every statement you make.
Blocks, Legos, and robotics kits litter your living room floor. Sometimes you even let your kid play with them.
6. FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Your 5th grader refuses to eat in the cafeteria because "American school lunches are so disgusting."
Your child scoffs when he hears other kids use words like "vajayjay" and "weewee."
Your life was going fine until puberty hit, but now everything you've ever taught your daughter about how to commit to a bit and reach down deep to connect with her real emotions has come back to bite you in the butt.
Your child constantly asks you to tell him stories about when you were a child and then uses them as proof that he's smarter than you. Which he is.
Your child stopped watching Doc McStuffins because "none of those ouchies are real!"
Your child stands on the front porch and judges the other kids for spending allowance money at the ice cream truck instead of saving for college.
You taught your child how to put democracy into action and immediately regretted it when she vetoed bedtime and organize her stuffed animals to protest your meal selections. (Your home is now a dictatorship.)
13. COMPUTER INFORMATION/IT SERVICES
You smirked at all the other parents whose kids know more about their computers than they do--until the day your 2-year-old changed the language on your iPad to Klingon (which isn't even an option).
Even if your degree is gathering dust like mine, it's nice to know it was good for something.
This was first published on Club Mid at Scary Mommy.