A List Of Everything A Man Should Purge From His Closet

From cargo shorts to fedoras -- get rid of 'em!

Every so often, a guy should take stock of what he's got in his closet and purge out what he no longer needs. And for whatever reason, most of us don't ever get around to actually doing it, possibly because we're afraid of what we'll find.

But when the seasons change, it's a great time to clear your closet of all the stuff that you A) haven't worn in years, B) haven't worn ever C) wear every day but is from the late '90s and should be gone from your life immediately or D) is potentially legally incriminating or genuinely terrifying.

Here's a list to help get you started targeting what to toss. Happy de-hoarding!

Cargo Shorts
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With their many pockets, cargo shorts and pants sure were handy back in their heyday, but now they're just as bad as dad jeans. Get rid of them and upgrade to flat-front khaki or linen shorts, no pleats.
Tube Socks
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Tube socks should get the boot from your closet, because there are so many better made, trendier socks out there with which you can express your unique style. We like LA-based Richer Poorer or ASOS, but whatever you do, don't wear them with sandals.
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Bless them, fedoras just seem to stick around. But they do not make for a classy gentleman. Get them out of your life and go grab a snug crown hat or a wide-brimmed panama, maybe even a newsboy cap -- it just depends on your head shape. But a fedora is bad on everybody.
Meme Shirts
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Slogan shirts are annoying, but meme shirts, especially those telling us to keep calm and read the rest of the shirt, seem to do everything but make us calm. Shirts shouldn't have words on them. Classic, silent v-neck or crew cut T-shirts somehow seem to say a lot more.
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Who's paging you? Why do you still have a pager? Purge your pager.
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This should be in the garage, because it's taking up space where your suits can go!
Surgical Tray
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This first-aid kit can go in the laundry room, where it's more centralized in the house.
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That's a lot of rope! Not sure you need to keep it in your closet.
Hooded Robe
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Wow, you sure have a lot of these in here.
Ancient Pillory
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We've been friends for six years and I had no idea you were into antiques. I think it would look better in your hallway, under the mace, but that's just me!
Possibly Alan?
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Is this Alan? You said -- I thought he moved to Portland.
JNCO Jeans
Actually, better keep these. I think JNCOs are coming back.

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