THE BLOG

What Are You Saying to Yourself?

Becoming mindful of your inner narrative is crucial if you wish to make changes in your life. Just as you are conscious of the language you use when communicating with others, the same approach is required when you communicate with yourself. What are you in the habit of telling yourself?
11/25/2015 02:56pm ET | Updated December 6, 2017
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
young woman drinking coffee

This post originally appeared on mydailyvibe.com

Becoming mindful of your inner narrative is crucial if you wish to make changes in your life. Just as you are conscious of the language you use when communicating with others, the same approach is required when you communicate with yourself. What are you in the habit of telling yourself? Because what you say or how you say it has impact both within and without.

For instance, does your inner dialogue reflect a sense of self-worth, self-respect and self-esteem? Does your self-talk empower you or is it a depleting influence in your life? Much of our strength and resilience comes from how we dialogue with ourselves internally. If left unchecked, this negative self-talk will cloud the very nature of our perceptions. It will reinforce the ways of the ego and in the process oppose the very person we wish or desire to become.

2015-11-25-1448476504-8028784-mdv_are_you_really_your_thoughts_.jpg

We may try to consciously tell ourselves we're worthy and deserving of self-respect; yet if our inner world doesn't concur then the inner and outer manifestation fails to take form.

So, an important part of becoming a person of high esteem is being aware of your self-talk. Recycling old hurts or memories about the past keeps you in a perpetual state of negativity. Be aware of what you are choosing to tell yourself, for these are life-long conversations that have shaped and will continue to shape your life if you are not careful.

So what's the solution?

First, know that these inner voices are stoked or triggered by emotion which then influence everything from how you talk to yourself to your beliefs and attitudes. Next listen carefully, even critically, to what you are saying and how you are saying it. If your thoughts and feelings are running wild with words of discouragement or anger, just pause the conversation and reflect on what was just said.

Second, using first-person phrasing, such as "I am so unhappy," or "I am never going to be happy," makes your mental and emotional state worse. Instead, ask yourself, "Why are you feeling so unhappy?" is a better way to create the psychological distance you need to see a thought or feeling in its entirety before you gain enough strength to change it.

2015-11-25-1448476572-4633107-mdv_think_positive.jpg

When you are ready to steer your self-talk in a more positive direction, a new narrative comes about through the eyes of your emerging self. Aim to speak with the mind and passion of this new self. Imagine how this self would think and feel in any given situation and act accordingly.

And finally, to the degree we learn to master this inner conversation is the degree to which we're empowered to make choices that yield happier results both within and without.

2015-11-25-1448476646-2429906-mdv_life_is_full_of_choices.jpg

For more inspiration visit: mydailyvibe.com or sign up to receive inspirational reminders every day to feel good-vibe better right in your inbox.