What Brock Turner’s Dad Should Have Written

My son stole your dignity, your humanity, your future.

Honorable Judge Aaron Persky,

If it is all right, for the majority of this statement I would like to address the victim directly.

You don’t know me but I owe you an apology. My son committed a disgusting and atrocious crime. What he did is absolutely reprehensible, and I would do anything to undo what he did to you. No person on this planet deserves to be violated and abused the way my son did to you. I’m sorry. I know it means and changes nothing, but I’m really, really sorry.

As any parent does, I love my child. This isn’t about defending him, excusing his behavior or blaming anything/anyone but HIM for what HE did. I could say that we didn’t raise him that way, that he’s never done anything like this or that he regrets what he did. None of that matters, at all.

This is about you. You were robbed that night. My son stole your dignity, your humanity, your future. This isn’t to say that you won’t move past this and find happiness in your life. I truly hope that you do, because what he did doesn’t define you. In fact, it defines HIM. It defines him as a rapist. A sexual offender. That’s what he is — forever.

Clearly, I hope he NEVER does this to anyone else EVER again. But if he doesn’t, that doesn’t make him NOT a rapist. He doesn’t get to sweep this under the rug or minimize it, and say “those days are behind me.” He’s lost all rights in that regard. There’s no reversing what he did.

Because this will always be a part of you, forever haunting you in one way or another. I don’t mean to further victimize you, but the fact is that my son behaved abhorrently and inflicted unbelievable pain and suffering on you. I can’t — and won’t — explain it away with alcohol, promiscuity, a misunderstanding or any other bullshit! Because it would all be bullshit. No matter what anyone says, he’s not innocent or the victim — you are.

The only person at fault, in any way whatsoever, is my son. Regardless of any circumstances or of what happened earlier that night, HE is to blame for his crime and he must atone for the horrible way in which he mistreated you. Nothing you said or did in ANY way justifies, excuses or otherwise lessens what he did. This is 100% on him. I hope you know that.

As his dad, it kills me to look at him with the knowledge that he perpetrated such a heinous crime. For 20 years he was my son, Brock-NOT-the-rapist. It was never even a consideration that he would ever inflict such harm on someone. But he did. It doesn’t change what has come before this, but it’s forever changed what comes after.

Clearly, no parent wants their child to go to prison. But that doesn’t mean that their child SHOULDN’T go to prison if they commit a crime that warrants it. And my son did. He undeniably did and he should suffer the consequences.

If the roles were reversed and I was the father of the victim I would wholeheartedly advocate for the rapist’s imprisonment. I don’t get to conveniently change my view because the rapist is my son. He isn’t subject to a different set of laws than everyone else.

I will personally do everything in my power to ensure that you are not interrogated, attacked or otherwise made to relive your terrible ordeal in a courtroom. That would be pathetic and repulsive, intended solely to discredit you and invalidate you — it’s not going to happen. My son attacked you once, and I sure as hell will not stand by while a rabid lawyer tears you down on his behalf.

He is the rapist. If anyone should be made to suffer it should be him — not you. Saying I’m sorry doesn’t change what happened, and it won’t erase that night, but please know that I’m filled with remorse over my son’s nauseating actions.

I doubt you care what I think, but I wish you immense happiness and success. This never should have happened to you, and I’ll be damned if any lawyer or judge tries to convince you otherwise.

Very Respectfully,
Dan A. Turner

 

This post was originally published at Dudemesticated.com