You’ve heard the old saying about viewing something through rose-colored glasses. Being an optimist, I’d say my first reaction to most situations in life have favored the use of rose lenses. For me, it reflects an idyllic mindset that makes the world a better place.
“Rose-Colored Glasses” Definitions
Cambridge Dictionary Happy or positive attitude that fails to notice negative things, leading to a view of life that is not realistic
Merriam -Webster Favorably disposed opinions: optimistic eyes
Subsequent research on the meaning of rose-colored glasses revealed opposing viewpoints. The Cambridge definition suggests that someone looking through the glasses is naïve, while the Webster version reflects positivity and hope. I don’t know about you, but I say, “Go Webster!”
As a teacher, I often used this trait to help parents and teachers see incremental progress toward a goal as success. For example, when a child was having behavioral outbursts in a classroom and could now wait until they were in a ‘safe’ place outside the room, I considered that a major accomplishment. Yet, since the goal was to eliminate and/or reduce the amount of outbursts, others might still see this as a failure. Because of my rose lens mindset, I was able to help them see success in the process by celebrating the steps, not just the final outcome. One father once asked me if there was anything that I didn’t see as half-full. I replied that I like to celebrate everyday, not just on holidays.
“It’s always been a mystery to me how people can respect themselves when they humiliate other human beings.” - Gandhi
I wore many glasses as a teacher, but the most important one had respect-colored lenses. Time after time, I saw parents and teachers disrespect children through words and actions. Callous comments in front of peers, demeaning statements, and even physical actions would rob the children of their dignity. No one is a winner in these situations.
WHY
Research indicates that by the age of 12, a child with ADHD will be the recipient of 20,000 more negative messages than neuro-typical peers. If they are constantly being bombarded with negative actions and reactions, what happens to their sense of self-worth? My role as a teacher was to provide them with a person who repeatedly modeled respect through my words and actions.
HOW
Through words, I relayed my respect by making behavior a thing apart from them. I would say things like, “I hate the behavior, but love you. Now let’s work on the behavior.” I listened to their side of an issue because that was their reality. I might not have agreed, but I listened. I gave them privacy to melt down and never provided negative feedback in front of their peers. Behind the scenes, I diligently advocated on their behalf by helping others understand the reasons behind their differences, which in turn helped them treat the child with respect.
I created a special bond with my kids because of my respect-colored glasses. I learned that when you respect someone, you are actually showing them that you value them. Children who feel valued are then in a position to learn, laugh, and love themselves!