Before the coronavirus pandemic, our lives had structure and routine. Days had meaning. Now? The week is one long, delirious blur. Time seems to fly by and drag on simultaneously.
If you’ve been losing track of time lately, you’re in good company. Below, we’ve rounded up 29 tweets about how time is basically meaningless in quarantine.
The only reason I know days are passing is because the dishes keep on a piling.
— Ashly Perez (@itsashlyperez) April 20, 2020
Just asked my husband what day it is. He's Googling it. I'll get back to you all with the results.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 8, 2020
I wish days of the week underwear were still a thing so I knew what the hell day of the week it is.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 1, 2020
Thirty days hath September,
— brandAn is good (@LeBearGirdle) March 29, 2020
April, June, and November,
all the rest have thirty-one
Except March which has 8000
something keeps happening to me where I open an email and I’m like “I’ll reply to that in an hour” then I go to reply an hour later and it says I got the email 4 days ago
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) April 3, 2020
At least today is Friday
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 25, 2020
-Me on Wednesday during quarantine.
Quarantine Diary Year 3- Fiercely fought with the husband over the day of the week. We were both wrong.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 25, 2020
What is a "weekend"?
— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️🌈 (@cmclymer) March 27, 2020
I finally understand what Usher meant by fiftyeleven days, umpteen hours.
— Slime (@NewWxve_) April 11, 2020
I want to go back to a simpler time. Like before a single day lasted less than 87 hours.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 1, 2020
Lost track of days. Loosely keeping track of time by monitoring how far my cuticles have grown out since my last pedicure.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) April 16, 2020
This day has been the longest week of my life.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 25, 2020
8: what day is it? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) March 25, 2020
Me: yes
Me when someone asks what day it is pic.twitter.com/1lhUh4eRUh
— John Robert Allman (@Johnny_Allman) March 29, 2020
I either showered this morning or last Wednesday who’s to say? We’ll never know.
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) March 17, 2020
How we quarantine:
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) April 17, 2020
- forget what day it is
- charger handy for all iPads 24/7
- wash hair SPARINGLY
- eat all day so you never have to cook a meal
- drink a LOT of clear liquids, vodka counts
- sleep. A lot.
- cry. Also a lot.
- FaceTime friends & see your double chin in action
it's that time again! time to look at my phone to figure out what day of the week it is
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) April 18, 2020
I got a new planner because I choose to live in a world (denial) where writing shit down in a calendar provides the precious illusion that I am in control of my life, of time, and of absolutely everything, thank you.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 20, 2020
FRIDAY NIGHT Y’ALL!!! Which basically means nothing now.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 28, 2020
Whoever said, "the days are long but the years are short" did not know about 2020.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) March 22, 2020
Clock: 2:01 PM
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 17, 2020
Me: OHMYGOD THIS DAY IS DRAGGING.
[3 hours later]
Me: [looks at clock]
Clock: 2:02 PM
I don't know who needs to hear this, but today is Friday.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 21, 2020
2020 so far:
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) March 30, 2020
January - 31 days but felt like three months
February - 29 days but felt like 10 minutes
March - somehow not over yet but has literally been 76 years long
Remember when 10 years of marriage seemed like a long time?
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 10, 2020
Not to get political or anything but it's Thursday
— henchwanker (@henchbeaver) April 23, 2020
mondays? an illusion. time is now divided into two categories: Laugh at Meme and Cry at News
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) March 23, 2020
Alexa is getting tired of me asking what day it is.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 17, 2020
Calm down, people who know what day of the week it is. Calm. Down.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 25, 2020
Every day is Monday now
— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) April 21, 2020
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