I recently had a frustrating experience. I was told by a straight, white man with whom I am friends that my advocacy for gender equality in the United States is unfounded due to the fact that as a white woman I experience relative equality (and have for a long time now).
His statement took me aback. While I am the first to acknowledge my privilege ― I am white and straight and understand that people of color in the United States have been discriminated against and marginalized for centuries ― his assertion that white women have achieved relative equality and have no right advocating for change is inaccurate and abhorrent.
Since the beginning of time, women have been the “weaker” sex, suffering rejection, marginalization, and exploitation. Women have been treated as vessels of reproduction, barred from work and sport, been slaves to their household, stuffed into constricting clothing, prevented from obtaining an education or speaking their minds, and treated as commodities to be traded and utilized for male pleasure. Progress for women in the United States has only come recently. They only gained the vote in 1920. Women were barred from attending many top tier private universities until the 1970s. They are only slowly gaining equal access to boardrooms, the world of sport, and the corridors of power.
In my career, I can expect to have fewer opportunities for leadership positions and make less then my male counterparts. If I do make it into a leadership role, I can expect to be surrounded by other executives who are majority male. I can expect to be surrounded by advertising and fashion options that sexualize women and makes them look weak. I can expect to be exposed to fewer female role models and inspirational figures.
These forms of discrimination are glaring, apparent, easily quantifiable. There are also forms of discrimination that girls and women experience throughout their entire lives ― microagressions that we grow used to and internalize, forgetting that things could be different.
My first memory of feeling less important because of my gender was when I was five or six years old. I was watching a football game with my family and was getting excited about the game. Suddenly, I turned to my dad and said, “I want to be a football player when I grow up.” He looked at me for a second and then laughed replying, “Grace, don’t be silly, football is only for men.” Although I now know I would never actually want to play football, I was crestfallen. “Why?” I asked. He didn’t have a good answer.
I notice the subtle and not-so-subtle forms of inequality in other realms. I notice it when I am told it is unsafe for me to go on a run in my neighborhood late at night or early in the morning. I notice it when all the people sitting in business class on an airplane are men. I notice it when the girls homecoming soccer game at my school is played in the afternoon while the boys is played at night, under the lights with a bonfire, big crowds, and a concession stand. I notice it when all the readings for History and English class are written by men. I notice it when I am whistled at by men as I walk around downtown. I notice it when I am told I have a one in four chance of being sexually assaulted when I go to college.
I readily admit that as a white woman living in the United States I am born with a certain degree of privilege, particularly in comparison with my sisters in developing nations. The situation for women of color, both in the USA and around the world, is much more dire than anything I have experienced. That said, I firmly believe that white men are born with much more privilege and a laundry list of advantages, and I will never let a white, straight man tell me that everything is fine, and that the fight for gender equality isn’t worth it. My answer is that I will never let sexism and discrimination get in my way ― I plan to fight for and achieve all of the goals I set for myself.