Photo courtesy of Tonya Leigh
My mother and Oprah have two things in common.
First, they both grew up in the South on farms.
But there's something else. Something far more important.
They both figured out where they shine.
For my mother, it's in the kitchen cooking 20-course meals (yes, I said 20. But, they're buffet style, if that matters) for family get togethers. It's her heaven, her happy place, her expression of love. It's where she shines.
For Oprah, it's on stage in front of thousands. It's how she shares her amazing love and light with the world.
As a woman, it's up to you to figure out where you shine.
There is no right or wrong answer.
It could be living in a cabin by the river or walking a runway at Paris Fashion Week.
Personally, I know I shine when I'm dressed up, working with clients, leading retreats or working on a creative project. Also, when I'm curled up on the sofa with my daughter, reading a great book or gathered around a table with friends, I feel so alive.
Oh, and Paris...but you knew that already.
Yet, I see so many of us fight our shine factor:
We think...
It's not big enough.
It's not worthy.
It's not changing the world.
People will judge me.
We look around at other women and think...
I should be better at speaking.
I should write a book.
I should be a better cookie maker.
Sure, if you desire to do those things, that's another conversation (and I will support you 100%).
However, if it's a cycle of compare and despair, never allowing yourself to love what you love and to own what you're amazing at, then...
I'm throwing out the BS card.
What the world needs is your radiance. Because, Lord knows, there's enough dark in this world. For the love of God, please DON'T JUDGE YOUR SHINE.
Take my mother, for example. She's never fought her radiance. She figured out a long time ago what she loved, how she could love and she has done it in love.
She didn't look around at everyone else and think, "I should be doing something different. This whole domestic thing that I love isn't good enough."
Instead, she has worked her entire life to cultivate it even more, to the point that she is often referred to as a southern Martha Stewart. And, guess what? Her life has been full of joie de vivre.
Your shine factor is unique to you, and once you own it, it will take you to the most magical places.
Think about what you absolutely love to do. It could be knitting or sailing.
Think about the places that light up your heart. Are you in a tent or at the Four Seasons?
Think about what people thank you for. It could be that you make the best cupcakes on earth or that you are an incredible listener.
Think about when your soul feels most at ease. It could be while skydiving or curled up by a fire.
Think about what how you naturally are in the world. It could be sassy, sexy or sweet.
Your job is to discover your own shine factor, and then to do the work to live in that space more often than not.
And, when you do, you'll discover an excitement and peace that you have never known before. Life will be filled with more ease, because you're not fighting with your own being.
Shine, my friend, like only you can!
Want to start right now?
Let's discuss in the comments what makes up your shine factor.
This article was originally published by Tonya Leigh at French Kiss Life, a destination for women who want to inject more elegance, style and joie de vivre into their daily lives. Through a vibrant online community and immersive experiences, Tonya helps women uncover their own iconic appeal. Are you classically charming like Audrey Hepburn, or is your goal to be a trendsetter at every age like Iris Apfel? Find out how you can tap into and leverage your own iconic appeal by clicking here.