When I was younger (not that I am too old now); I always dreamed of a big town house with many rooms, beautiful landscaped gardens, multi car garage etc. I wished for a spacious work area though I wasn't sure what kind of work I would actually love to do or end up doing. I wanted a library too and that's before Kindle was born. Oh and I even wanted an entertainment center though I am not into gaming and cannot differentiate between a bass or acoustic guitar if an audio is played. And I wished for big SUVs. Because I believed that these would give me happiness. My idea of bliss and joy was possession of large number of physical assets. That was me, young and naive.
Today, I don't want any of those things. A car for me is now just a mode of transport. I prefer something that's compact and relatively eco-friendly. I am more than contented with my Kindle; effortlessly carrying around all my reading material wherever I go. All the things that I craved for as a teenager; things that I presumed would make me happy seem like nothing but liabilities in life. They would have never made me happy rather turn me into a slave of my desires.
Think of the fun you can have catching up with a friend after years and connecting without missing a heartbeat. A walk on the beach with someone you love or building sand castles with your kid. Joy is probably taking up a hobby and pursuing it at the later stages of your life when you can devote time and create something beautiful. You can paint or take up aero-modeling. The sky is the limit.
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Imagine the joy of aging healthily without any major physically debilitating issues. The material things which we presume might give us joy are liabilities that have to be paid for. They are debts for which we have to work relentlessly, earn and pay - off. Envisage the feeling if your designer bag gets nicked unintentionally or someone spills coffee on your expensive branded outfit; now compare that to the feeling you derive wearing your comfortable cotton pyjamas and lounging about your abode. Point here is that everything in life has its need and importance but few give us unbridled joy.
With time we must start to redefine what is an asset or a liability, what gives joy and what creates just a sense of possession and ownership. It is often just a factor that takes us few paces ahead in the race which we can also choose to step away from. We need not waste an entire lifetime working and paying off without truly enjoying the items of possession.
There are simple things in life around us which we often forget to savor. I can think of a few.
What gives me joy is a nice cup of coffee or Assam tea. The joy doubles if I am hanging around with a friend (or friends) chatting away aimlessly. Joy for me is watching a film like The Holiday with a bowl of popcorn and no one around to bug me or saddled with chores dangling around my neck. Cuddling your pet can give you lot of happiness. A social media update or 100 likes on a post or selfie is definitely not my idea of joy.
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When was the last time you read a book at the park (remember the closing scene of Notting Hill) with no smart phone pinging every second with a useless message alert or revisited the pages of those prized comic books? Have you tried playing Monopoly or Scrabble on a rainy day (physically and not digitally)? Try walking on the beach at midnight, listening to the natural lapping sound of the sea. Do not plug in your headphones but try listening to the sounds around you and feel the cortisol levels recede. Unleash the hidden singer in you at the karaoke bar in front of strangers. Listen to some good old music like ABBA or Cliff Richards. You will see your pressures shifting and for those small moments your heart and mind fill up with happiness and joy.
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The lives that we are living today are filled with milestones and moments of achievement. We are missing out the journey from one milestone to the other and losing touch with people. Many of us might not recall the last time having a real face to face meaningful conversation (not with your boss or peers about work!!!) without stealing glances every 5 seconds at the phone screen. Let us also try and spend some time with ourselves. That will give us joy, the ability to just shut our mind from the outside world, our responsibilities, our pain and struggle and allow us to just be.
Celebrate life!