THE BLOG

What Happens When You Believe in Yourself

In 1972, holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl delivered a powerful talk to the Toronto Youth Corps.

In the rare footage, he told the audience that the most important gift we can give other human beings is to believe in who they can be.

Quoting the philosopher Goethe, he said:

If we take man as he is we make him worse, but if we take man as he should be we make him capable of becoming what he can be.

While Frankl was talking about nourishing the spark or will to meaning in others, I think that it's perhaps most important to recognize and nourish our own spark first.

This "spark" is your authentic purpose, the reason you get out of bed in the morning.

So often our own spark is dulled or even completely hidden by the expectations others have for our lives.

We then become frustrated, discouraged, and often give in to the illusion of an easy, quick path to security and success.

All the while, a faint spark still remains deep within us all.

In coaching hundreds of college students and working professionals finding their way in a complicated, pressure-filled world, I've learned some valuable lessons on how to break free and truly live your potential - by actually believing in yourself.

It all starts with with changing one word in your self-talk vocabulary.

Treat Yourself as You Can Be

Benjamin Zander, in the bestseller "The Art of Possibility" said:

"How often do we stand convinced of the truth of our early memories, forgetting that they are assessments made by a child? We can replace the narratives that hold us back by inventing wiser stories, free from childish fears, and, in doing so, disperse long-held psychological stumbling blocks."

Our internal narrative can be ugly. Ironically, what we tell ourselves is often the biggest stumbling block to becoming who we can be.

We obsess over what we should do, who we should be, how we should be thinking.

Your own liberation may lie in changing a single word; moving from should to can.

When we state what we can do and who we can be, we rip ourselves from the destructive narrative that's been holding us back.

Imagine if college students, as they were approaching graduation, asked their mentors, "What can I do with the rest of my life?"

What if companies and organizations asked, how can we do business better?

By simply eliminating should from your self-talk vocabulary today, you start thinking of your potential self that, when cultivated, will help you become who you were always meant to be.

Adopt an Abundance Mindset

I was introduced to the idea of an abundance mindset listening to Tony Robbins' audiobook, "Awaken the Giant Within" and I haven't been able to think the same ever since.

See, most of us live in a scarcity mindset. We are constantly thinking things like: There's not enough money, change is dangerous, risk is bad, failure is a limitation, my career path is narrow, and I don't have any options.

And, we make decisions based on this delusion of scarcity. We go to graduate school for things we don't want to study because they offer job security or because someone told us to.

We take bad jobs, make self-limiting decisions, and in turn spend the majority of our time "securing security" and not creating it.

As I have been starting my own speaking, consulting, and writing career, this is how I was thinking: "I am too young, I'm not good enough, I haven't written a book, I am too inexperienced, there aren't any clients, there isn't any money to be made out there, and the market is too competitive."

And, my performance and behaviors followed. I would spend hours upon hours lamenting at my bad luck, comparing myself to others I deemed successful, and almost giving up.

Then, in one instant, I switched my thinking. I started thinking: There are thousands of potential clients out there, I can gain experience, there is an abundance of money to be made, I can write a book, I can make a living doing this.

My actions followed. My new awareness of all that was "out there" motivated me to go and get it.

Since that shift, I've booked double the amount of paid speaking engagements including a keynote at a Fortune 500 company, started contributing here on Huff Post, and am working on a book - all while being fully engaged in teaching at a university and earning my Ph.D.

Because these are the ways I want to be spending my time and earning a living, I feel fully engaged and almost a moral responsibility to relentlessly pursue it.

For you, it may not be a speaking and writing career. It may be being better at what you already do, being a better friend, or a better spouse.

Whatever it is, you are far better than you think you are.

Who can you be? What can you do?

Follow Zach on Twitter: @ZachMercurio