I love spending time with peak performers from elite athletes to successful business leaders, top students, musicians, and models. One of the first things I ask them is this:
"Do you ever get insecure?"
"Do you ever get negative or angry?"
The answer is always yes.
Recently, Jessielyn Palumbo was crowned Miss New Jersey USA 2016 and a few days later, she came down to Princeton, New Jersey to spend some time with me. While walking down the street with me, all eyes were on her, admiring her beauty. What they couldn't see was the beauty on the inside. I was impressed at how down-to-Earth she was, and how she was just a regular person, like you and me.
I asked Jessie what she attributed to her success. Here's what she shared with me...
1. Character: Help others. One thing that really impressed me with Miss New Jersey was that she genuinely had a passion to help others. To me, that's true beauty. Looking good is nice... doing good is better. I know for my own life, I wasn't truly happy until I started focusing on making others happy. One of my life goals is to help as many people as I can in the world, so when I was invited to blog on The Huffington Post, I knew I had to. The nice thing about being a good person and doing good things for others is that you don't need talent or experience to do it. It's a choice. And you can do it right now.
2. Determination. Jessielyn Palumbo failed in many competitions. In fact she has failed in many things in life, as we all have. But she didn't give up. She persisted. She didn't believe the little voice inside her head that said, "Maybe this isn't meant to be." I once asked my friend, Tim Mayotte, a former pro tennis player what was the worst thing he ever said to himself on the tennis court was. His answer was, "The worst thing I ever said to myself on the tennis court was, 'I am the worst tennis player in the history of the game!'" My response was, "What were you ranked at the time?" He said, "Number 10 in the world." So if the No. 10 player in the world has insecure thoughts, we all will, but we can still persist regardless of how we feel.
3. Live in the moment. We often hear about living in the moment, but what exactly does that mean? To me, it means doing what you're doing while you're doing it. Put your heart and soul into everything you do. Too many people live in past mistakes, or future anxiety, but the most successful people in the world live in the present, and that is when we feel our best and when we do our best. While hanging out with Jessielyn, I saw that she truly lived this way. When we were chatting, we were chatting. When we were walking, we were walking. She wasn't being distracted nor did she keep checking her phone for messages which I'm sure was blowing up with congratulations. There's nothing wrong with falling out of the moment, but when we do, we can always just notice it and come back to what it is that we are doing.
4. Work hard. Miss New Jersey obviously works hard on her fitness, nutrition, and other areas of her life, including her own photography business. How many times do you hear somebody say that they should eat healthier, start exercising, or save more money? Ideas don't get you anywhere, action does. If you have a plan but do not take action, that is like walking into a restaurant, reading the menu, and going home.
5. Be mentally tough. Jessielyn is mentally tough, but truth be told, we are all mentally tough. We were born resilient (look at young children). My daughter, Ava lives in the moment and has all the confidence in the world, but she didn't take a course on it, or read my book. It's her true nature. As we get older, we are not lacking it, but we are blocking it by listening to that insecure voice in our heads. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Many people say, "Don't believe everything you hear." I say, "Don't believe everything you think." The new Miss New Jersey says to avoid the word "can't." If you do find yourself using the word, "can't" just make sure you finish with the word, "yet."
Yes, Jessielyn Palumbo gets insecure, eats ice cream, and gets frustrated too, so I decided to try and capture the Miss New Jersey that not many people get to see. Here are some photos I took of her without her crown. It's a side that not many people see but to me, it's her best side... the inside.
For more information on Jessielyn:
Instagram:
@realmissnjusa
@jessiepalumbo
Twitter:
@realmissnjusa
Website:
www.jessielynpalumbo.com