What I Learned From My Promiscuous Stage

1. Guys are easy to get in bed.

Typically when you meet a single guy at a bar, he’s down to go back with you. It’s girls who require more convincing and sweet-talk. I learned that if you want to sleep with a guy, it’s pretty damn easy―seduce him with a coy smile and wave and boom- he’s yours. Men aren’t that hard to decipher.

2. Don’t expect a call the next morning.

From my experience, after you sleep with a guy the night you first meet, he’s not going to get breakfast with you the next morning. He probably won’t even call you the next day. If you look for love in every one night stand you have, chances are you’re not a good candidate of who should engage in casual sex. You’ll only get your heart broken. If you’re looking for love, get to know him first. Then keep him waiting.

3. Guys have feelings too.

Most guys fall into lesson number two, but there may be the occasional one who’s completely enamored by you and wants to see you again. When it wasn’t mutual, I never knew the protocol of how to approach this― I’d either see the guy again out of pity and unintentionally lead him on, or just completely dead him. Let him down easy. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt.

4. Consent must always be given. Always.

Consent isn’t a guy persuading you to have sex until you finally give in. It’s not a “Well... I guess we could have sex if you really want to...” It’s a yes, I am down to do this, let’s get naked this instant. There’s nothing wrong with sleeping around if it’s what you really want to do; the issue arises when you do it because you feel pressured to.

5. I do have a type.

I used to think I was into a wide array of guys, which is essentially still true if we’re basing attraction off appearances. But attraction transcends the boundaries of aesthetics, and I learned that certain guys and I could never have an emotionally charged relationship. I won’t vibe with the narcissistic athlete whose brain is less dense than a ping pong ball. But I also won’t vibe with the engineer who sleeps and breathes equations and numbers. I’ve realized I get along best with someone who has similar interests as my own and whose personality is similar to that of myself.

6. You’re not a slut and whoever thinks you are is ignorant.

I’m not quite sure how people still believe they have a say in how others live their lives. I wouldn’t condemn you as a prude, so who are you to denounce me as a slut? If someone judges you for your lifestyle it’s more of a reflection on them. Keep your head held high and ignore the haters.

7. Nothing compares to having just one.

I definitely had the time of my life partying and meeting different guys, but nothing compares to being with just one. Nothing compares to having that one person who loves you as more than a face and a body, knowing that you’re the only girl who sleeps in his bed and the only one who occupies his mind. And that, in my opinion, is the greatest lesson I learned of them all.