This isn’t actually going to be a post about health per se, as I have a TON of those type of postings to come later. This IS, however, going to be posting about YOU, and how releasing the neediness and clingy-type behavior to the things in your life that are CLEARLY no longer serving you, and allowing the world to walk with you on your journey and SEE you-may be the best thing you could ever do for yourself.
Six days ago, my amazing surgeons removed my spleen to resolve my ITP (Idiopathic thrombocytopenic pupura), a low-platelet and bleeding disorder that has wreaked havoc on my life for a little over a year. Since my surgery a week ago, my platelet count has TRIPLED. Tripled to a number I spent an entire year on steroids trying to achieve to get me out of the danger zone of having a spontaneous bleed at any moment.
Scary sounding, right? It was.
And even scarier were the side effects brought on by giving my body such high-potency drugs for such an extended period of time and the rapid decline in my quality of life.
When I was first presented with the option of a splenectomy, I have to say that resistance doesn’t even begin to describe what I felt at the thought of losing such a vital organ. Then there was the FEAR.
No matter how much my hematologist and primary care doctor assured me that- not only would my life MOSTLY go on as usual without “Sasha” (yep-I later named my spleen), but because she’s actually no longer serving her original purpose and causing HARM, I would experience a high success percentage from the disorder as well as regain that quality of life that I complained about at each and every doctor appointment.
And although this has been one of the toughest Detours of my life, I’ve learned quite a few lessons.
Why was I resisting the removal of “Sasha” when I was told time and time again that her removal could offer me a much better situation than what I was currently dealing with? Why did I somehow feel that if they removed this vital organ I would struggle to carry on as the ME that I know that I am? I struggled with the idea of losing this organ that had been with me my entire life, EVEN THOUGH, it was clear she was betraying me.
It’s times like this that you’re also shown who your friends really are. Not the people that you KNOW...or the people you just accept Friend Requests from on Facebook, but the ones who pretty much think of you daily and because they truly KNOW you, they’re very aware of the battle you’re fighting. Not only are they aware, but they offer to fight alongside you, if possible.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I encourage, uplift, or inspire others, I’ve got to start with encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring myself first-probably one of THE toughest jobs. The mindset work. Reminding me that-as I had told so many others before my diagnosis-that it was only a DETOUR...NOT a Defeat.
But one of the most important things I’ve learned is that sharing....allowing others to witness that I am a living, breathing, walking testimony of what holding on and pressing on looks like- is THE biggest way to have positive impact.
I’ve struggled in the past with allowing others to see my vulnerability and imperfections, yet these turn out to be the very things God uses to propel you forward, to up-level you, to help you take another step.
He had my back again.
Too many of us use our imperfections or even our pasts as a crutch, an excuse- a blemish on our canvas that prevents us from forging ahead. It takes us way to long to understand that those are the very things that connect you to others, that make you capable of loving, being loved, and relating to others where some cannot. Being human, raw, and transparent, releasing the useless need to guard your footsteps-and just walk in who you are and always have been. To be proud of your battle scars, and give the gift to others of believing in themselves.
That by watching you overcome, they now know that they can, too. they can believe that the dark place they may be in is only a temporary facade. A disguise, but a necessary experience..
That if they just keep walking, they will find the light at the end of the tunnel.
YOU will find your light. And I’m here to tell you to just take one more step. No matter how big, just keep going.
Little by little, baby steps add up to miles!
Your story may be different from mine, but if you’re still standing, we have a lot in common.
We made it through.........again.