These days it seems like the word “pro-life” has been reduced to a narrow definition and carries a lot of baggage. The term is generally understood to mean protecting the lives of unborn children and lately it seems politicians throw it around as a prop to convince people like me to vote for them. While I consider myself pro-life and believe that unborn life should be protected, we need to take the concept a step or ten further. Being pro-life means something more than is popularly understood and it was working in a crisis pregnancy center for four and half years that birthed this perspective in me.
I sat with couples who barely knew each other’s middle names and now faced the prospect of raising a child together. I met with students who were not old enough to drive to their prenatal appointments or vote or even legally consent to sex.
I heard from a Christian who, when faced with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, said the church was the last place she would have turned for help. There would be too much condemnation. Too much disgrace. (She secretly ended her pregnancy through abortion.)
I know people who made a decision to end a pregnancy based on sound medical advice. And people who decided to go against popular medical opinion. There were mixed results across the board but there were many broken hearts and sleepless nights on all accounts.
We worked with dads who were completely unequipped to raise a healthy child. There were couples who were homeless and couples who couldn’t keep the electricity on. There were couples who had their previous children removed from the home due to being unfit. There were women who would leave our facility and return home to drug addicted and physically abusive partners to share the news of yet another pregnancy.
I sat with many people who were completely devastated by two little blue lines. Their reasons varied and their abilities to cope varied, but time after time the news of pregnancy was not welcomed or celebrated or an answer to prayer.
I share these stories to remind us that these conversations are complicated. We may never all agree on when life begins and who has the right to decide and what things are included in that decision, but we can all agree that this stuff is messy.
These stories involve real people with real dreams and real fears and real hurts. They are sons and daughters and moms and dads facing difficult and uncertain futures. Some are dealing with shame and some are dealing with crushing poverty. Some are seemingly trapped in cycles of bad decisions and some are guilty of momentary lapses of judgement. Some are victims and some have been naïve. Some have never been taught anything different. Some are searching for love and acceptance. And all have worth and value.
All of them have worth and value. When I say I’m pro-life, I mean all life, not just life in utero, has value and is worth defending and worth my involvement.
All life having value makes me stop and consider things that are uncomfortable. It makes me less quick to condemn and draw lines and declare enemies. It means I cannot reduce this topic to a political talking point. It means I can’t just grab picket signs and cast votes and expect to make a difference in someone’s life.
Being pro-life means being there when a woman weighs her choices. It means being there whether or not she decides to continue with the pregnancy. It may mean opening our homes to provide a safe place for her (and her boyfriend and her other kids). Or opening our hearts and our arms.
Believing life has value may mean fostering or adopting children whose parents chose life and for whatever reason have not been able to raise them. It means providing support and encouragement and resources for families who do that very thing. It may mean filling in for parents who are not around and being a mentor for young kids or young parents. It may mean taking the time and effort to invest in the lives of those most impacted by these decisions.
Being pro-life means we need to take a long hard look at the way cycles of poverty impact generation after generation. It means we have to work to provide quality education and healthcare and opportunity for people who find those things hard to come by.
Believing life has value should mean that we look at things like sex-trafficking and prostitution differently. It should mean we shop differently in response to things like forced labor and inhumane working conditions.
Being pro-life means caring for people who have done wrong. It should make us look at the way we treat prisoners and ex-cons and how we try to rehabilitate them. It means providing jobs and accountability and friendship and forgiveness when people have blown it.
If we really value life it means things like borders and train tracks and income gaps and skin tones no longer can separate us from people in need. If all life has value that includes people who speak different languages and follow other (or no) religions. It means valuing people fleeing Syria and people already here.
Being pro-life means our churches need to be places of sanctuary and refuge. It means we make room for those who might otherwise feel unworthy or unclean or unwelcome. It means being people of Good News when our neighbors carry the weight of bad news.
It may mean giving up something we want in order to provide something someone else needs. It may mean doing things differently than we would normally choose to do them. It definitely means we have to reexamine our politics and our prejudices and our assumptions. Seriously.
And being pro-life even means we value the life of even those who disagree with us on this issue or any issue. Mocking and insulting and dismissing people who believe differently than we do are not actions that reflect a pro-life ethic.
Being pro-life means a whole lot more than just being pro-birth. It is hard and it is messy and it is often uncomfortable. Sometimes things will go completely the opposite of how we hoped. It is inconvenient and likely more gray than black and white. It takes intentionality and dedication. It requires work and patience and love and grace.
Being consistently pro-life is difficult and tiring and costly.
And it is worth it. That’s what I believe. That human life, in all its shapes and sizes, has value.
And because life has value we must, I must, act and live as if it has value. Not simply by voting or debating or bumper sticker evangelism, but by putting my money where my mouth is. By rolling up our sleeves, getting off our couches, and getting dirty. Then we just might make a difference. By rubbing shoulders and bearing burdens and viewing the sanctity of life from a broader perspective, we demonstrate what we claim to believe – that human life is sacred.
So what do we do next? Here is some information and a few action steps:
- Did you know 69% of women who have abortions are economically disadvantaged and 73% report a religious affiliation? Read statistics on abortion here.
- Did you know that abortion rates have been in decline? Read about why that is here.
- Here are 5 practical ways to support foster families.
- Sign up to be a Big Brother or Big Sister here.
- Volunteer at a pregnancy center.
- Babysit for single parents. For free.
- Students living in poverty (51% of public school students today) are more than 13 times less likely to graduate on time. Join efforts to remedy this here.
- Advocate for refugee families. Volunteer with are resettlement efforts.
- Contribute to someone’s adoption costs. Or college costs.
- Throw baby showers. And birthday parties. And “Hey It’s Thursday” parties.
- Educate others about the reality of human trafficking and a world with more slaves now than ever before.
The possibilities are endless. It is time for those of us who claim to be pro-life to live like we mean it. To enter into brokenness and pain and darkness in order to offer hope and wholeness and life. To set aside clichés and sentiment and put into action the values we’ve spoken. To live as if everyone we meet actually has value. And to do the hard thing because it’s the right thing. That’s what I mean when I say I’m pro-life.