"Donald Trump's a bad guy."
"Well, he's not exactly a bad guy, Honey."
So began this morning's unusual political debate. It wasn't unusual for me to be involved in a political debate but my opponent was intransigent and I wasn't sure I could change his mind.
He's three.
He's my grandson.
He sees the world in two camps-- bad guys and good guys. Therein lies the problem. Trump presents me with a unique dilemma. How do I explain the nuanced difference between actual bad guys and a guy like Trump? Sure, it would be easy for me to simply let my grandson believe Trump is a bad guy. I mean, seriously, isn't he? Trump stands for a boatload of things I abhor -- intolerance, deceit, narcissism, racism ... I could go on but I'm pretty sure you get the gist. If those don't prove he's a bad guy I don't know what would.
But, and this is a big but, what if this guy wins the election? What if the next President of the United States is a bad guy?
You might suggest there have been other "bad" guys who've held that office but I think not one is in the same wheelhouse as Trump. Yes, I know Nixon was a crook and W lied and thousands died and their terms didn't move our country forward in a good way. Neither was my kind of guy and I didn't vote for either. (During the Bush years, I just pretended Martin Sheen was POTUS and that worked for me.) But, I believe they did love this country and were motivated by a desire to serve. Trump? Not so much. I don't think he loves anything but himself and the only thing he wants to serve is his ego. He depresses and scares the crap out of me, frankly. And, let's face it, Pence is not much better in terms of his political beliefs and policies which are anti women, anti gay rights, and anti progress but I don't think he's a "bad" guy, just a guy I disagree with on pretty much everything.
But, do I want my grandson to think the President of the United States is a bad guy? How would I explain how that's okay? If you were a child and thought the leader of the free world was "bad," wouldn't that be awfully frightening and confusing? It's going to be frightening and confusing to me and I'm a grownup.
Normally, if I have philosophical differences I would just explain that our leader is a good person but someone who sees the world differently than I do. I would say, "No, he's not a bad guy just because we disagree about how the country should be run."
But with Trump, I don't think I can get the words, "...not a bad guy" out of my mouth without choking.
I have a list of fears for our nation's future if Trump were to win. Who will he bomb because they insult him and he has no understanding about foreign policy? What will happen to our economy with this inept businessman who thinks he's "great" at business calling the shots? What will race relations be like with a hater in the White House? How will women fare with a misogynist in chief? What will happen when the well-meaning working class folks who voted for him find out he really doesn't give a damn about them after all? How will we ever feel safe again with this opportunist using fear to persuade? I can control none of those things.
But, in our homes, in a world where grandparents and parents have some control, how can we teach children to respect the office of the President of the United States when the office holder shows respect to no one? When Trump ran the most rancid, noxious, divisive campaign I can remember and won, how do we convince children civility and character count? How do we teach them to deal with bullies in the schoolyard when they see bullying and name calling and negativity triumphantly rewarded with the highest office in the country?
If Trump wins why would our country's children ever believe anything we say about the value of comporting themselves in the world with dignity and integrity?
Trump is truly a bad guy but can I really let my sweet and impressionable young man believe the country is being ruled by a bad guy? (And, yes, I know what you're thinking. You think Trump's not really going to be running the country because we all know he's going to let his kids do the actual work.)
But can I tell my grandson President Trump is a good man?
I. Simply. Cannot.
I will work to make sure this is a dilemma I don't have to face. I'm going to do what I can and I hope people will join me between now and Election Day to make sure the bad guys don't win. Literally.
For more compelling content for grandparents who love their "grands," I invite you to check out Grand Magazine.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
