What is a good Mom?

When I first found out I was going to be a Mom at the age of 22, one of the first thoughts that went through my head was “am I going to be a good Mom?”. I asked myself that question because I cared and growing up you often hear of what a good parent should or should not do or hearing others being judged by their parenting styles etc. So it was only natural for me to wonder if I was up for the challenge, and wonder how I might be at it.Then as my journey into mother hood began it started with having people around me who said that to be a good mom I couldn’t be an artist anymore. I could not do shows, write music, have a band, record an album and be a good mother at the same time. They simply don't go together so I should choose one. Of course with a brand new baby, your time, heart and soul is all them but to be good at that... I should give up music. Okay. I had heard that to be a good mother you have to be a good cook, so being a terrible cook there was a little more pressure. I better figure out how to cook really well and give up music, okay got it. Then there are extra curricular activities, to be a good mom I should keep my children busy and have them involved in things outside of school and myself also so get me in things, get them in a bunch of things, learn how to cook well and give up music. Then the older I got the more I realized that to be a good mom you should be married because after hearing numerous murmurs from parents over time, I should be married to be a good mom. Wow, this order is getting really tall and now I really don’t know if I can meet the demands. Get married, Learn how to cook, Get kids in activities, and stop doing music. .... It eventually got to the point where being a Mom for me was losing its joy and became me running after a stereotype. A stereotype that came about at some point and one that many hold in their minds today as to what defines a good Mom. but the truth is, it’s dead wrong. I was left empty! To be a good Mom you don’t give up what you love, you keep that part of yourself as alive as you can! so that your children can see what that looks like an follow their bliss the same way. If you aren’t a good cook, you get damn good at salad, home made soups and work that crock pot! They are happy , healthy, fed and bye bye dinner stress. If you're not married then you're not married! You are still going to be just as much of a parent as anyone else is and in the end the opinion of others means NOTHING, doing right by your child/children is more valuable than anything! If they aren’t in a ton of activities then thats okay! take one night off or even two during the school week to clean the kitchen after a nice dinner and sit on the couch with the kids!!!! Some Moms are soft, some have a rough edge, some are cuddly and some aren't as affectionate, some have a sense of humour - some don't, some are active - others not as much, some are organized and others just can’t! Some are lawyers and some are eccentric musicians, some are happy and some are still searching for their joy but what makes a good Mom? The unconditional, undeniable , unstoppable, selfless love for your kids - THAT makes a good Mom