Could your city be the worst place to look for love? If you live in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Boston, you could be right. However, if you live in Chicago, Atlanta, Houston or Miami, you could also be correct. Wait, what if you live in Detroit? How about Phoenix? Could it be Nashville? Maybe Seattle?
The reality is that if you are single, the very worst city for you to live in is... the one where you continually say, "It sucks to be single. There are no good men to date here. This is the worst city for women who are dating."
In the over 10 years that I've been a dating coach, new technology has launched, communication has changed, gender roles have shifted, but one thing has remained constant: women who had the point of view that dating was difficult where they lived, were more likely to stay single than those who saw many possibilities around them... even if they hadn't yet met Mr. Right.
In the bestselling book "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People", Steven Covey introduced the principle of Abundance Mindset vs. Scarcity Mindset. Interestingly, this is most often applied to business and yet it is equally as relevant in dating.
If you believe that there are not enough great guys to go around and all of the good ones are already taken, then that will be your reality. If you read every study that says that single women in your town, your age bracket, or your ethnicity outnumber single men and that the deck is stacked against you, you'd have to think you're Superwoman to believe that you'll be the person to beat the odds.
But, the reality is that the numbers are in your favor. According to the latest census data there are 107 million single Americans, which proves that the possibilities are there if you're open to seeing them. The other thing to remember is that to be successful in dating, it only takes ONE. You could have 100 terrible dates this year but if you meet one amazing person, who feels the same way about you, then you're a success story.
Plus, with the popularity of dating sites, you're not even limited to dating in your city. You can find love across town or across the globe. In fact, no matter where you are in the world, you have a better chance at finding someone, who matches you perfectly, than women did in previous generations.
In the book Modern Romance, Aziz Ansari and his co-author Eric Klinenberg dive into the phenomenon of the "Good Enough Marriage" which locked women of past generations into dating only in their neighborhood or immediate social circle.
Modern women have the ability to choose a mate who satisfies them on a deeper level. While that process might take a little longer than just picking someone who is "good enough", if you approach it from an abundance mindset you will see that there are plenty of great guys to go around, no matter what city you live in.
I will be delving deeper into the dilemmas of modern dating starting on June 1, 2016 at the Decoding Your Modern Dating Dilemmas virtual summit which features sessions with top dating experts including Greg Behrendt (Author of He's Just Not That Into You), Katherine Woodward Thomas (Author of Calling in the One), Devyn Simone (Co-Host of TLC's Love at First Swipe) and many more. Register free at ModernDatingSummit.com