What is life like being a high priced escort? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
Answer by Talya De Fay, sex worker, on Quora.
How much money did you make?
This changes day to day, the most I've made over a weekend was close to AU$10,000. There was not much sex involved, it was more company and his own self exploration.
What did you use your cash for?
I have three properties. After normal bills, it normally goes towards travelling and paying off my properties or helping my family. I don't party. I don't drink. I don't go clubbing.
What was your education level?
Some university. I was studying psychology as I am one of thoses 'natural psychologists' (another story, another time) when I started sex work. I put my studies on hold when I realised I am already practicing psychology at work with better pay and less hours.
Do you consider yourself to be intelligent?
I am a huge nerd. I am intelligent. Mainly with interpersonal areas. My last IQ test was 121. Its not something I place importance generally. A lot of sex workers I know are very smart women studying law, biology, veterinarian degrees as well as some others who are using this work to gain capital to launch their own business or just as sex workers running their business.
Did you have any other options in life?
Yes. This is a first choice. I could continue my study and become a registered psychologist. There are many options in that field. My resume is strong if I wished to apply for a different job.
Why did you choose to be an escort?
I have done it twice. The first time, I needed money and I tried sensual massage and later full service. I left for a while. I came back to sex work as I was studying full time.
What types of clients did you have?
They are the general public and from every walk of life. Look around you where ever you are and you will see them. Some are well known, some you wont notice. They are mainly men. I have seen a few couples as well.
What were the "transactions" like?
I assume you mean the service provided in a booking which has sex. Here is a video from KittyKorner (YouTube) that shows you what happens in an average booking under decriminalisation. I recommend looking at her other videos.
For me personally, sex is not in very booking (client decides). I normally only have sex once, but it's not a rule, talking afterward while we relax tends to be the greater part of my booking. I also cater for crossdressing, light BDSM, Fantasy and roleplay. These are add on services so there is an extra cost involved.
What did you talk to your clients about?
What they have been up to. What I've been up to (if they are regulars), what's going on in their life, what hurdles, etc. are coming up. Homework if I've given it. It really depends. Sometimes we lie there in comfortable silence. I am naturally humorous so I may joke around. Dance, crack jokes. It really depends on what company they need in that moment.
Are your clients rude to you?
When I first started some were but the majority were lovely. The few rude ones disappeared the more confident and self assured I got. Now I rarely get them. I find they are like kids. Pull them into line, they stop and become respectful.
What do you do now?
I do sex work. I have done escorting and brothel work. I much prefer brothel work. You receive less per hour but you are not wasting time getting silly phone calls, dealing with timewasters, having to organise a place and line up bookings. I turn up, relax, the clients come to me, I go home. I have retained one private client.
Was being an escort fulfilling, if so, how?
I am a carer. I see the positive affect I have on my clients. I see them grow and become more confident. I love that I can give them a nonjudgemental space to be themselves and explore that person. I love the sex. I love the freedom and travelling business class or other. I love the travel I am able to do. I love how I can help my family. I love the friendships I've formed with girls.
Would you have done it again?
Yes. There are sacrifices as well that comes with this job but I wouldn't change a thing because if I did, it means I wouldn't have had all the experiences, I wouldn't have met all the people who have helped me grow and I would not be here sharing this with others or being able to be a voice for others who don't have one
What was your childhood like?
My parents divorced when I was 18 mths old. He was abusive. I have no memory of that. We moved around a lot due to him trying to track us down. We had a short period of having literally nothing but we still had a fun childhood. I experienced the violent loss of a close friend at 12. And had a few experiences I choose not to share here but these moments are surrounded by a very loving single parent family and an awesome grandpa. Adventures of camping, being rebellious, living near a beach, annoying my big brother and having crushes on his friends. Normal Stuff.
Please note:Do not think that anything from my childhood "made" me do sex work. It didn't 'make' me do sales, or be a public servant or a store manager or any other job I've had: nor did it 'make' me choose my current career. I choose my experiences and am no one's victim. It is a common stereotype that is used to discredit and provide reasons not to listen to sex workers on policies that affect us. Please do not disrespect my choices or break my trust by using my past, against me.
What was your socio economic status?
Growing up, lower class. A single parent family is hard.
Currently, middle/upper middle class. Honestly I don't know. I don't put much value on material things. Some may see me as upper class, but I'm more a naturally grounded hippy so I'm not comfortable with status or putting people in boxes.
Could you write a simple biography as a response to the question?
I Am Me.