When more people see the beauty that we are, and what surrounds us, much will shift. We make assumptions every day based on the masks we wear. There are more people wearing masks in their day-to-day lives than there are in the total number of shows on Broadway.
We are each similar but not the same, taught me a wise Mexican friend. The uniqueness of each being is a gift of existence, she shared.
Our world helps us put these masks on display every day--teaching us to imitate or desire the success that others have. How many times have you heard people say, and even yourself, if only I had ... ?
The masks we adorn are a product of our education, which teaches us how we need to be. We had to become professional and personal selves in business. It was expected that we separate ourselves and find the mythical work-life balance. We would not show up as a whole person, who has a family and a life outside of the job.
We had to separate our essence to be successful business people. And the cost has not been discussed widely. The women who stayed home and raised the family practically as single moms if their husbands were making a living and were either on the road most weeks, or working 24/7 most days of the week.
And then there were the successful women, who did not have kids so they can travel, be good workers, and break the glass ceiling. While they may have had a partner at home, they did not get the support needed. When they returned from their international business trips, they had to take care of the household chores and keep up with the pace of work obligations. And maybe some men and women had enough money to get support at home. But everyone still very much had to put on their masks.
What do we mask? We are taught to imitate success by creating a superficial layer to mask our true being. We are expected to live a page in the manual of success by having it all.
We also mask our relationship with nature. We forget that nature does not rush, and somehow we get caught up with the need for constant forward movement in every aspect of our lives.
What you are not a grandmother yet, says one friend to another. Let me show you the photos of my grandkids. Yes, and this one will be president some day.
What, your son is not potty trained? says one mother to another.
What, your daughter is not married yet? says one father to another father.
I remember being in my early 20s and overhearing a conversation that shocked me. This is what I heard: No, she is not married yet. No, she is not dating anyone. No, she likes guys. And then there was a huge sigh: I just wished she would get married, so everyone knew someone wanted her. She can get divorced after but I just wish she would marry. I want people to know that some man desired her.
Original minds are not distinguished by being the first to see a new thing, but instead by seeing the old, familiar thing that is over-looked as something new. Friedrich Nietzsche
It really doesn't have to be this way anymore. But it takes the hardest work to find out what you truly want, how you want to show up, and who is ready for a path where you can leave your masks behind. When you become conscious, there is no need to rush and live someone else's definitions of success.
Ask yourself:
What masks am I wearing, if any?
What is the cost to keep wearing them?
What is the cost and opportunity to shed them? Why?