What men's silence at the Golden Globes says about their understanding of #MeToo

What men's silence at the Golden Globes says about their understanding of #MeToo
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Black was the color of the night. In solidarity with #MeToo, in bridging the gender wage gap, through exposing the structural inequalities that continue to keep women in subordinate positions to men, the women of the night chose to exclusively wear black as a form of fashion activism. The movement was characterized as #TIMESUP - a call to end the sexual harassment plaguing the industry. Actresses arrived to the red carpet with activists and artists as their chosen dates to help amplify the message and give platform to the diversity of voices in the campaign.

The event was dipped, head to toe, in politics, agitation, resistance.

Nicole Kidman took the first speech of the night and crafted it around the power of womanhood and the violence used against them.

Natalie Portman masterfully called out the “all male nominees for best director” knowing full well the camera would pan to each individual nominee’s reaction.

Laura Dern threaded a narrative about the toxicity of complacency, ‘restorative justice’ and supporting survivors through the plight of her fictional daughter.

Debra Messing rightfully chastised the E! Network for pay disparities between their male and female co-hosts while being interviewed by the E! Network.

Oprah gave the speech of all speeches, powerfully slicing through issues of class, gender and race with the story of Recy Taylor and Rosa Parks.

The men? Silent. Deafeningly. Not one man made mention of #MeToo or the #TIMESUP campaign. Not one man thought to give part of their internationally televised platform to the issues that have dominated media attention for the last three months.

Why is this a problem? First, it speaks to male entitlement that they think they are beyond the issue. These men haven’t been called out (yet). They’re one of the ‘good guys’. Meyers joked about this in the opening monologue: “this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.” What the men here get so incredulously wrong is they don’t realize that these issues are more about the operations of systems (gender) than about individuals ([insert Actor’s name]). It’s not about whether you, as a man, have sexually assaulted someone in your lifetime. It’s about how you, as a man, contribute to a gendered reality that equates to one in every four women experience sexual violence in her lifetime. This is about all of us. It’s about your complacency. It’s entirely about your silence.

Second, sexual assault will stop when men stop assaulting. This is a man’s issue that happens to disproportionately affect women. Violence, assault, rape, are a series of acts and behaviors enacted by men towards women, therefore creating survivor narratives. We’ve historically labelled sexual assault as a ‘women’s issue’ for consciousness raising and to provide support to survivors. This is a conversation men need to have with themselves, their brothers, and their sons. Through speaking out you have the opportunity to bring light to this issue as a matter of priority and importance.

Third, the emotional labor women need to manage when having to recount their trauma and talk about these issues (which they’ve been doing for decades now) is exhausting and painful. Yes, women must own the message. Yes, this is about women’s shared histories and giving women a voice. That’s the basis of Dern’s ‘restorative justice’. But now it’s up to us to listen to that voice and echo it onwards.

Alexander Skarsgard won a Golden Globe for playing a rapist on Big Little Lies. A show that focuses entirely on the abuse of women, and the narrative that connects them all. He stayed silent.

Aziz Ansari dedicated an entire episode of his show, Master of None, to power and sexual harassment. The show won him a Golden Globe. He stayed silent.

Here’s a tip: Don’t accept roles or create art if you’re not actually interested in the responsibility that goes with it.

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