Are you the kind of person who hates a messy house?
Do you clean regularly and are pedantic about having things neat and tidy all the time?
Can you stand not having the bed made or the chairs pushed in?
This is all very good and well and hey I like a neat tidy house too, but I'm talking about having to straighten it constantly, daily even.
And do you have to clean all the finer details when it comes to just cleaning the house? Do you enjoy the deep breath at the end and the feeling of satisfaction of 'ahhhh'? Do you feel like you achieved something at the end like you've actually accomplished something important? Does it give you a great amount of pleasure looking at the clean and tidy house and knowing you've fixed that 'itch' and now you can sit back and feel proud?
I have an interesting news flash for you.....
Have you ever stopped and considered 'WHY' you need to satisfy that 'itch', of course outside of the obvious sanitation reasons, teaching your children to clean up after themselves and just wanting to be able to get through the house without stepping on a dreaded piece of lego.
I mean really considered, what do I get from having to have this ritual of tidying the house every night or every hour or every min, which ever your fancy might be? How do I benefit from this? What do I gain? What am I really chasing?
I believe that we all need to clean and tidy up, it's good moral respect, health practices and life lessons but for some....and it used to be me, there is a much deeper meaning I believe as to 'WHY' we need to do this?
Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it is the feelings at the end of it all that we desire.
I'm talking about the absolute feeling of this -
- 'ahhhhhh' I did it - completion
- J smiley face.....I feel - satisfied
- Stop and look around the room - togetherness
- Being able to do this frequently - control
- Having others arrive at your door saying 'oh wow your house is so clean' - Acceptance
- Constant tidying , making it look better than it may appear - proudness or covering embarrassment of what you don't have
My list goes on: worthiness, justified, content.
I know this list because these feelings used to be the feelings I once craved; and it only used to come after I'd cleaned or tidied my house every evening, just the way I like it.
I spent many hours doing just this.
- It wasn't until I embarked on a personal growth path in my life when I one day decided to clean the house and I realized that it no longer gave me the satisfaction I once looked for in cleaning and tidying.
- I was struck with 'What the..............????'
- Where had this feeling gone?
- What has happened to me?
- Did I do it wrong, maybe I need to clean up again?
- Wait, why am I cleaning again?
It was void, albeit a small sense of 'oh thank goodness, the kid won't contract a disease today'.
I sat down and felt lost. I wasn't sure how long it had been since I had lost this feeling because it had only just dawned on me but I was sure it had been a little while. I got up and thought 'oh well, next time.'
It wasn't until I was busy doing; let's just call it a self-growth activity (exercising) and I realized that my long lost feeling had come back -- only I wasn't cleaning or tidying!
I stopped my running (exercising) and thought -
'Now...where have you been Mrs satisfaction, hummmm'
'oh and Mrs complete'
'hang on....Mrs togetherness and Mrs justified, you too'
It was all there!
But I'd actually managed to channel my true need to where it needed to be. I had healed the 'missing link' to why I needed to clean and tidy so often.
I was free! And it felt amazing!
I still clean and tidy, but it's out of 'we could catch something if I don't clean that' or because I can't get in the door of my 4 year old son's bedroom door. No seriously it's more often than that, but what I'm getting at is I don't walk around stressing because my place is falling apart anymore because ultimately that made me feel like I was falling apart.
This isn't the case anymore; my kids enjoy the reality of true living. They enjoy me stressing less and the disappointment of having to pack up their games every afternoon.
They know when to clean up, sometimes a little guided help is needed but they can create and design and play and be kids.
We enjoy a tidy house but it's our home first and foremost and although some people still probably look at my house and think from both sides of the spectrum of 'wow girl clean up' or 'how does she do it, it's so clean' (everyone's versions is different) the important thing is I don't do it anymore because I NEED to do it to feel all those feelings I was missing, I do it because I can aannndddd.... it really would make the place a little less third world-ish if I just cleaned the loo!
My question to you is 'What do you really need to actually once and for all fulfill those feelings?'
No amount of house cleaning or tidying is going to ever truly satisfy that craving.....it will get you a germ free house and it will see you spend a good deal of your precious time attending to a manifested reward but it's not ever going to really solve the true problem.....
What does your constant house cleaning and tidying actually do for you?