If you're reading this, there's a good chance that you own a lot of s**t. And though you may not want to admit it, all those things act as a window into your thoughts and your psyche.
Here are some everyday items found in your home and what they say about you as a person.
Printer — "I have a manifesto."
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Forgotten Girl Scout cookies in the freezer — "I've watched a man's soul leave his body."
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Christmas lights in your bedroom out of season — "I awkwardly avoid hugging."
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Silk sheets — "When I see kids crying, I smile."
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Standing mixer — "My friends have to babysit me when I get drunk."
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Chip clips — "In the grand design, all life is meaningless."
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Bookends — "I'm a doomsday prepper."
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Melon baller — "I've killed before."
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Cutting board — "We are all god."
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Shoehorn — "I cry during kid cereal commercials."
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Animal skin rug — "I know the quickest route out of town."
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Digital picture frame — "I take it personally when someone doesn't sit next to me on public transportation."
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House plant — "When the going gets tough, I curl up like a slap bracelet."
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Wire hangers — "Sometimes when I sit the park and watch families enjoying the beautiful weather, I think to myself, 'Pluto is a planet and I don't care who knows it!'"
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Welcome mat — "I shower while listening to the sounds of other showers."
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Vehicle sun shield — "I named my dog Illuminati."
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Magnetic knife strip — "Actually, I prefer Pepsi."
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Heart-shaped waffle maker — "I own a digital copy of 'Gigli.'"
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Winter cap with ear flaps — "I call 911 just to let them know I'm OK."
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Before You Go
