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What the F*ck Is a Mom Cave?

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I am a designer. I am not someone who simply loves and appreciates pretty furniture and writes about it. I've designed celebrity homes, I have multiple lines of products in the global marketplace and Courtney Cachet is its own brand. That said, I have a keen understanding of marketing and consumerism, but there are some things I just never get.

For example, what the f*ck is a Mom Cave?

I'm no moron, I know what it means. Clearly, this was some marketing team's answer to the ever-so-on-trend Man Cave. Duh. What I don't get is how women across America bought into it. It's one of those things that just get on my nerves, like Date Night and Girlfriend's Guides and Girls Night Out! Ugh, seriously? Can I have some cheese with that phrase? Newsflash! In the design world, where I typically roll my eyes at the snobbery, there is no such thing as a Mom Cave. Unless your "designer" is a former housewife who took the job at the fabric store when her kids graduated high school in New Jersey. C'mon, really?

Here's what I really don't get. Man Caves, which I have written about a few times, are a total home decor phenomenon. Why? Because they're bad ass. Tricked out media rooms with movie screens, stereo systems, pool tables and lots of liquor and sports. Awesome, right? Mom Caves, by contrast, are not entire rooms, but "nooks" and "little spaces", "even a closet will do nicely" one article on Mom Caves stated! Also, you better like pink, damask and Rococo. Maybe we'll do crafts or think up new Bundt cake recipes in there! Then we'll pipe in some meditation music so we can "chill out" or meditate in our "sanctuary". My sanctuary? Sanctuary?? My husband would be checking me into the psych ward in a hot minute.

What I find particularly irritating is The Man Cave gets entire rooms, entire floors or basements. He gets all the cool gadgetry, and fantasy like decor. Not Woman, but The Mom gets a closet or a nook where she can paint it pink, light scented candles, read Chicken Soup For The Mom's Soul or paint her toenails pink and listen to Yanni. Call me crazy, but I think I'd rather be a dude in this scenario. Wait, what about the single ladies? No cave for you, bitches! First you have to pop out a couple of bambinos and pack on 10 lbs. Only then are you worthy of your own pillow filled room!

The whole notion of this room works much better on paper. I live in a pretty spacious house. I work from home about half the work week. I have tried countless times to hide from my kids and guess what? They always find me. Always! If I had a Mom Cave, it would just be another pretty room in the house. I think every room in the house is for everyone. I feel no need for a Mom Cave. If my husband wants a Man Cave, that's fine. If you don't let me in I'll ban you from the Food Cave (Kitchen) and The Sex Cave (Master Bedroom) and you can spend all your time in The Toy Caves (Kids' Rooms) changing diapers and watching Thomas The Train.

I love decorating, I love the color pink and I love to disconnect from Spongebob, Barbie and my husband's devotion to The Phillies every now and then. I also love electronics, loud music and NBA playoffs. No I do not have a Mom Cave and I never will because the spa at the Ritz-Carlton followed by a couple of martinis is how I prefer to roll.

If you don't have a Mom Cave either, meet me there and I'll buy you a drink.

Just leave your Bundt cake recipes and Bedazzler at the door.


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