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What to Do if You Are Not Loved

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"not everyone is going to like you. And that's ok. {...} Always stay who you are." - This was posted in a Facebook community I belong to.

As I began to respond, words were pouring out of me full of overwhelming love and gratitude. I used to not feel all this love. I used be feel hate. I hated so many. I hated the world. I hated my life. Most of all, I hated myself. I was afraid of people's opinion and got so sad when they didn't like me. I was sad when they didn't like me, because deep inside I felt that I was undeserving of love: I believed I deserved hate the same way I hated myself. Slowly, as I was healing, unlearning my pain, digging deep, learning to be happy and healthy, learning self-love, I learned to love. I feel so much love in my life, it was so good to write about it... Here is what I wrote in the group:

It's impossible to connect with everyone. So yes, of course, not everyone is going to connect with me, not everyone is going to like me and not everyone is going to agree with me.

In my healing journey, developing love for self and for others what was difficult to accept is not that I am not liked by everyone, but I don't (always) like everyone and sometimes I don't like (things about) myself. I was confused. I was supposed to love myself and everyone else, I loved myself and everyone else....then how could I not like them or me? Then I realized: love and like are different.

I truly love everyone: everyone is part of this beautiful universe, everyone has their own journey, everyone is good inside, everyone has dreams, everyone has potential, everyone has good intention, in the end we all want the same thing: everyone wants to be happy.

No one is bad, hurt people may hurt people, people may act and react from pain, or simply people may just be different from me. There will be people who's views I will disagree with, whose actions or lifestyle or words I will dislike. I don't have to like them.

My job is to love them, to accept them for who they truly are beneath the masks - beautiful human beings -, to accept where they are at, their process, to accept their journey (a journey that is not mine, and may be very different from mine!) - but no, I don't have to like them or like everything about them.

I can love them, while not like certain qualities or choices by them.

Same goes for me. I will do and say things, I won't like and won't be happy about,

I have qualities I don't necessary like (and work on improving)....but I do love myself, I accept and love myself for who I truly am, I accept and love my journey, I embrace and love for where I am, I love myself as a whole. There are qualities of me I love, others that I like and others I don't like, some days I will like everything about me, some days I may get more annoyed and dislike more things about me.

But no matter what, I always accept and embrace where I am, I always love myself as a whole, as a true self!

So yes, coming from this perspective, it is not only okay but normal and natural that not everyone will like me or like everything about me. They shouldn't. They should love me, accept me and respect me as my true authentic self, as a part of the universe, as a human, as a soul...but they don't have to like (everything about) me at all.

But what if they can't even love me (or respect or accept me)?

While I hope that the world will someday come to a place where we can all truly love everyone, ourselves and the universe, this is not the case. It is okay if they can't even love (or respect or accept) me. It is okay if they never even make it to that point. Everyone has their story and their process. Everyone is walking it. Some arrived to love long before me, some may not get there in this lifetime, and many are in between.

It is all okay. And not okay in the I am better than you, I arrived here,but it's ok that you are slow and behind way, but it is okay in the most loving way.

I don't believe I am ahead of anyone else. I don't believe I am behind anyone else. I don't believe that anyone is ahead or behind. This is not a competition or a comparison game. We all walk along side each other on our own path. And it is okay.

So while ideally everyone should love everyone and everything, it is okay if they don't, it is okay if you don't, it is okay if I don't, it is okay if I am not loved by all.

Because we are all in this journey together...step-by-step we all get there, to love, as a whole, not just as individuals.

Just typing this I feel love all over my mind, body and soul.

I know that love in the world is possible. I know that love is everywhere.

I know that unlearning our pain, hurt and hate is possible.

I know that learning self-love, self-care, happiness, health and love is possible.

I know happiness full of self-love, love, health and energy is possible for all of us.

Yes, this includes you as well!

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