Marriage is a wonderful experience when both partners are committed to one another. That doesn't just mean fidelity - it means being committed to the idea that every day might not always be a fairy tale. Learning what to expect from your marriage means enjoying the good times and accepting the potential for bad.
There are many things you should expect from your marriage such as commitment, trust, honesty, and love. There are also things you should not expect, like mind-reading or never having a disagreement. Having a realistic expectation of your life as a couple will help you have a healthier and stronger bond in the future.
1. A partner
Being married to your best friend is one of the most satisfying experiences you will ever have. When you both put your heart and soul into your marriage, you're guaranteeing each other unlimited love, compassion, fun, comfort, empathy, and support. As partners, you take part in an undertaking of the emotional, physical, and financial well-being of one another. This means you consult one another before making decisions and always have someone to come home to.
Regardless of how much you think you know about relationships before getting married, the months following those wedding vows may throw you for a loop. Often, this comes from having an unrealistic view of marriage. For example, your personal insecurities won't go away just because you're married, just like your partner won't change overnight into Prince Charming or Mrs. Perfect just because you tied the knot.
No marriage is perfect, and there are going to be a lot of challenges along the way. Staying together with the idea of forever and ever in your future demands that there will be bumps and bruises along the way.
3. Relationship security
Some people miss having that "spark" they felt when they first started dating, but one of the best things about marriage is knowing your partner is always going to have your back. This means coming home to the same comforting arms every night and knowing that even if you have the most outlandish argument, neither of you intends to call it quits.
Life can throw some unexpected curveballs your way, especially in a marriage. Anxieties happen over financial situations, the welfare of your children, health concerns, or concerns regarding infidelity. It is human to worry, just don't let it take over your married life. When you always put the other one first and work as a team, you will have success in your marriage.
5. Sexual lulls
If you are married, you know that your sex life is always changing. This happens for a number of reasons. Medical problems, different sexual expectations, resentment, and dissatisfaction with your partner's physical appearance are common culprits for why your sex life may diminish over time. However, the biggest cited reason for a waning sex life is boredom. This is why so many couples look into different ways to spice up their sex lives over time.
Your sex life may not be as rambunctious or as frequent as it was when you first got married, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be fun, exciting, and satisfying. Both should practice forgiveness and understanding in the sexual department if they are ever going to find a happy middle ground.
6. To constantly fall in and out of love
Many couples stay together for the rest of their lives but that doesn't mean they've been madly in love for the whole duration. A relationship is like a roller coaster. It has high highs and low lows. For example, you may love your partner, but that doesn't mean you will be IN love 24/7.
You may have found the love of your life to spend the eternity with, but that doesn't mean they're not going to annoy you, frustrate you, and make you crazy. Trust the process and never stop working at understanding one another and putting one another first. This will combat any relationship blues you might be feeling.
No two people are the same. No matter how much you believe you and your spouse share the same brain and finish each other's sentences, you are going to experience conflict in your marriage. Not getting along with family members, not agreeing on money matters, and saying things you shouldn't have in the heat of the moment are all a part of marriage. Successful couples learn to maturely deal with disagreements and settle them before they get out of hand.
8. Apologies and forgiveness
"I'm only human" is a well-known phrase for a reason. People make mistakes and sometimes they're real whoppers. Devoting your life to someone doesn't guarantee that there aren't going to be some pretty serious cracks in the pavement somewhere down the line. Whether it's something small or something life-changing, if you are truly committed to one another you will both learn to apologize and to practice forgiveness.
If you are committed to making your marriage work, you need to learn to respect, forgive, and appreciate one another on a daily basis. Remember that much of your happiness depends on your shared, realistic views of marriage. Practicing open communication and trust is going to be an excellent stepping stone for a healthy, balanced married life.
Malini Bhatia is the founder and CEO of marriage.com, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage, including resources, information and a community that supports healthy, happy marriages. Bhatia has global experience in international management and communications. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband of 11 years and two daughters.
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