COMEDY

What To See In Cleveland Before Rioters Burn That Motherf****r Down

Cleveland rocks! For a few more days only.

As a northern Ohio native, all I have to say is this: We had a good run, y’all.

Affectionately known as “the heart of it all,” Ohio is about to be descended upon by the Republican National Convention, aka “the heartburn of it all.” Cleveland is expecting a large number of protesters, meaning this coronation could quickly become a conflagration ― especially when you consider the high flammability of the presumptive nominee’s tanning spray.

The city that, weeks ago, was ablaze with joy after its NBA championship is about to be ablaze with plain old blaze, so make sure to stop by these attractions before it’s too late.

  • Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
    Don't be mistaken—the people running out of rock's HOF aren't quoting its '99 inductee Billy Joel when they cry out, "W
    HuffPost Comedy
    Don't be mistaken—the people running out of rock's HOF aren't quoting its '99 inductee Billy Joel when they cry out, "We didn't start the fire!"
  • Playhouse Square Center
    Never yell “fire!” in a crowded theater. Except for next week if you're in this theater. I’m saying ar
    HuffPost Comedy
    Never yell “fire!” in a crowded theater. Except for next week if you're in this theater. I’m saying arson is imminent.
  • The James A. Garfield Memorial
    Ah yes, the burial place of the 20th President of the United States, James Abram Garfield. He was a Republican, so listen clo
    HuffPost Comedy
    Ah yes, the burial place of the 20th President of the United States, James Abram Garfield. He was a Republican, so listen closely when Trump gets the nomination and you might hear Garfield turning in his grave.
  • Buckin' Ohio
    Just outside of Cleveland, it's a top spot in Ohio to catch a rodeo. And, much like the RNC, attendees should be pr
    HuffPost Comedy
    Just outside of Cleveland, it's a top spot in Ohio to catch a rodeo. And, much like the RNC, attendees should be prepared for an overwhelming amount of bullsh*t.
  • Cleveland Metroparks Zoo
    Former House Speaker Gingrich isn’t the only Newt whose time in Cleveland is almost up.
    HuffPost Comedy
    Former House Speaker Gingrich isn’t the only Newt whose time in Cleveland is almost up.
  • The Percy Skuy Collection on the History of Contraception
    Some of the exhibits feature contraceptives so old that they became obsolete before the GOP could make them il
    HuffPost Comedy
    Some of the exhibits feature contraceptives so old that they became obsolete before the GOP could make them illegal.
  • International Women’s Air and Space Museum
    Who says women can’t do anything they set their minds to? Yep, “Republican Congressmen” is the right answer
    HuffPost Comedy
    Who says women can’t do anything they set their minds to? Yep, “Republican Congressmen” is the right answer.
  • The Great Lakes
    Who says large bodies of water can't be reduced to ashes? #LakesAmericaGreatAgain
    HuffPost Comedy
    Who says large bodies of water can't be reduced to ashes? #LakesAmericaGreatAgain
  • The Cleveland Browns
    It will be so sad to see disaster strike the Cleveland Browns in July. Usually that doesn't happen until Week 1 of
    HuffPost Comedy
    It will be so sad to see disaster strike the Cleveland Browns in July. Usually that doesn't happen until Week 1 of the NFL season.
HuffPost

BEFORE YOU GO

PHOTO GALLERY
Donald Trump Added To 'Calvin & Hobbes' Strips Makes All The Sense
CONVERSATIONS