What Women Want... the Big R

The majority of women want the big "R" from men.

Realize your choice of words and actions.
Every girl appreciates respectful and genuine conversation
She's a person with opinions and feelings, not an object.
Pieces are parts of a puzzle, not a woman.
Each time you degrade a woman, you degrade yourself.
Constructive compliments that are personalized in a respectful fashion gets you points!
Treating women with respect shows you are a real man.

In today's society women are more independent whether it be having a career, being a single parent or obtaining a higher education. The shift towards equality allows women to take charge of their life decisions as they pave their way towards the future. I love the movement of Girl Power and believe all girls should have the right to be educated as well as make their life choice decisions based on their goals and values. This shift has caused a major stir in how women are treated by men. Sexual derogatory comments made to women by men in a public setting is not considered anything new nor are these comments considered a compliment. I'm 19-years-old and have been in these uncomfortable situations and my first thought is to sit the guy down and explain to him how these comments will never get him attention much less a date with me, but my gut tells me to ignore the immaturity that has just taken place. I'm having a great day with my freshly made Starbucks, why in the world should I have to stop and educate a man with How to Treat a Woman 101? On a recent occasion I took the time to tell a guy (who felt the need to be inappropriate) that his degrading words were not a compliment. His response? "How is that not a compliment? I just called you hot, not ugly." A man does not need to call a woman anything. Try starting a conversation using respectful words with a genuine interest in who I am, not what I am.

This article is not intended to bash all men. I know some great men who are respectful, kind, and really supportive of women. I realize this article is not going to immediately change the way some men degrade women, but I do intend for this to serve as a "news flash" to educate men and bring awareness to their choice of verbal communication. I took a poll with a few amazing women with loads of "Girl Power." These women have great respect for themselves as well as others and agreed to share with me what they want from men.

Rebecca Moore is an assistant principal at an all girls high school in Ohio. She fills the roles of wife, mother, career holder and advocate for T.H.I.N.K. (Think before you speak, type or text) Here's what she has to say:


"We all are different. When we learn to embrace our differences I think we can truly find that man that adores us and accepts us for who we are. I was adopted at age nine and my father became my best friend. He always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be, even though I kind of had a wild spirit that was impossible to tame. I believe when you are adopted you have a different perspective on relationships and what you are going to look for in a man. Adopted or not, we all (meaning women) have something in our past that drives us and guides us to how we want to be treated.
How do we want to be treated? I myself, having an 'I can do it myself attitude,' looked for someone who can respect my independence and trust me. I looked for someone who didn't try to tame me, but nurtured my abilities and desires, someone who embraced my eccentric differences I have and accepted them as this is who I am. I want to be treated as a woman of worth and when I am treated as so, I will be your most loyal and loving girl you have or will ever know. Never settle for a man than is anything less than what you want, it will end in heartbreak and disaster, and every woman deserves love and her happy ending.

If a guy walked up to me at a party and said 'You're hot,' I would say, 'I know right? Could you get me a bottled water?' He would either laugh and know that doesn't work with me or just walk away. I have done it before and sometimes I got a bottled water and sometimes they walked away.
If he said 'You have a nice ass,' I would say, 'Wow, you're bold to speak such vulgar language around a lady, I think I'll pass for someone with a more extensive/expansive vocabulary, but nice try.' 
I don't really feel anything for guys like this, just actually sad that they are lead to believe talking like that to a girl will actually get them somewhere.

Sandra Griffin is one amazing women and friend. She is an advocate for empowering women and an Executive Corporate Travel Coordinator. I loved our conversation. This girl rocks!

"I'll never forget when I heard Oprah say: Women and men, regardless of their age, race, religion, color, THEY want to be heard, they want to be noticed -- 'Can you see me? Can you hear me?' It's true. We all want to be noticed by someone. My dad always told me, never stop learning, knowledge is powerful and no one can take it from you. Unfortunately, the media tells us something different. We have to be a certain shape, size and color to be noticed. 

As most of you know, I was born and raised in Brazil, I've been in the US 15 years and I do have a heavy accent. People don't care, they are mean. I was made fun of, I was misunderstood, I 'didn't fit in' at the time.  I remembered calling my dad and asking him to come pick me up because I didn't want to stay here another month.
He said: Sandra, I didn't raise you to give up or be afraid of people. Don't listen to people that mean nothing to you. Don't let their opinions destroy you.

If someone is really interested in me, he would not use derogatory comments, he would try a different approach or would start a conversation.

I think it comes with time when you realize that respecting yourself is so important. Never allow people to hurt you. You get what you allow.

The women of my generation are in the midst of a massive movement of what I like to call "Girl Power." Let's face it, most girls want to be treated with respect. I consider myself a smart girl. I am well respected and make positive choices. I surround myself with likeminded individuals and have always been taught to work hard, be educated and live with determination to reach my goals and dreams.

Men want to be respected as they work their way to success, just like women. I'm having a difficult time understanding why men continue to speak to women in a sexual or inappropriate, unsolicited manner. I know in generations past women stayed at home and took care of the children, cooked dinner and created a wonderful home for the family to enjoy while the husband worked all day. It's 2014 and women are blazing the trail becoming successful CEO's, political figures and entrepreneurs, many of which are doing this while raising children. "Girl Power" exists and it's here to stay!

I'm blonde, thin, white and fit the typical stereotype... dumb blonde. Unfortunately, people who don't know me might think this upon seeing me or my photos. I don't dress provocatively and I don't give any indicators that I belong to this stereotype, however my control over my body and mind gives me security that I am taking charge in a positive way for myself and my actions, hence self-respect is again a focus on this subject. I cannot control society, but I can cause a shift by respecting myself and others. If more girls would make a choice to respect themselves first, my side of the seesaw would cause gravity to take control and a shift will take place. Sounds easy right? It really is... that is what's so frustrating.

I had the privilege of hearing Donna Brazile speak recently at FIU's Women Who Lead Conference and I loved her definition of feminism. We don't want men to leave the room... We would just appreciate them moving over and allowing us to sit with them.

There is room for men and women... but most of all Respect.