I was sitting at a birthday party for a 6-year-old little girl, sipping a delicious glass of wine (things have certainly changed since my birthday party days!) minding my own business (totally lying), when this kickass woman struck up conversation with me. After we figured out how we were all connected to the birthday girl, we started the typical "What do you do, and how do you balance it with all of the family shit?" banter, and when I told her about Bitchless Bride, we obviously started talking about weddings, and how we tied the knot. This chick? She had a dinner party for 17 guests at a beautiful restaurant in Lake Tahoe. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, it was. And considering that she broke away from the "norm," she still had an amazing wedding day.
After I drilled her for the details (a fancy sit-down dinner, stunning wedding dress, and beautiful cake), I told her how my hus and I eloped in Las Vegas. Ultimately, the other moms around the table began chiming in, and even though all of us are on a similar path (raising 6-year-old little girls) livin' it up in the 'burbs, we all had completely different wedding experiences. Which got me thinking about the bigger picture. Life after your wedding; life in general. Because, somehow, we all made it here, to V's birthday party, despite our differences, and despite the pressure to have the perfect wedding. The funny thing is that although we all viewed "perfect" a little differently, the pressure was the same.
My Tahoe wedding friend? Well, she took some serious heat for breaking the norm and not including everybody at her wedding. And, me? OMG. I took some major heat for eloping with just my hus. The other ladies? Well, they got shit for doing certain weddingy things the way they wanted to do them, as opposed to the "norm." By the second glass of wine (it was a long birthday party), I announced that my goal was to reset how we "did" weddings. Erase what we knew to be normal, and start the fuck over. Let's get naked! Not literally, but figuratively! I mean... What would happen if we stripped everything we knew about weddings, wedding planning, and weddings in general and started over? Clean slate... No rules, just two people who love each other figuring out the best way to celebrate that love and their future together?
As somebody who is in "the industry", and has been for several years (and who can't seem to get the fuck out no matter what I do), I've seen so much. Too much. The good, the great, the bad and the worst (usually in people)... And for what? One day. One super expensive, super inflated day that has morphed from two people celebrating something as simple as love, into a big fucking circus. I've watched couples deteriorate under the pressure to keep up with current wedding trends, and how they think their day "should be", versus staying true to who they are, and what they want to achieve in their future together. So, let's hit "reset." Let's erase it all... Let's start over. Let's dump the "how it should be", and focus on the "how you want it to be."
Because one day, bridey,? You'll find yourself drinking at a kids birthday party with the other moms (and dads), comparing notes about life, and realize that your wedding day was only one of the best days of your life. So, give yourself permission to hit the "reset" button. Let go of the "my wedding should be", and allow yourself some room to determine "how you want it to be." Got it? Good! Stay bitchless!