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Here's What You'll Never See On 'The Simpsons,' According To A Former Writer

Thank goodness "The Simpsons" didn't diddly-do this.

“D’oh!” isn’t just Homer Simpson’s catchphrase. It’s also what TV writers likely say when they realize “The Simpsons” has already done basically every story there is. (“South Park” even did a whole episode on it.) But there are a few things you’ll never see on the show, according to Josh Weinstein, a former “Simpsons” writer.

Weinstein, who’s a frequent collaborator with “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening, recently shared an excerpt from an early “Simpsons” style guide, showing how tiny alterations could have made the show a bit disturbing. The “No-No’s” for characters include cross-eyes, square teeth and big, pointed smiles. 

So if you’re wondering how the “Simpsons” animation seems to avoid creeping you out, now you know. 

Weinstein added that the show could have become “Bizarro Simpsons with any of these choices.”

A live look at “Simpsons” fans after seeing the drawings above:

For those who want more behind-the-scenes “Simpsons” tea, don’t have a cow, man. Weinstein also shared some preliminary episode titles from drafts of the scripts. You can try to guess the episodes they belong to, if you ever get those bizarro “Simpsons” faces out of your mind. ...