Whatever Candidates Say, The People Reply Oy Vey

The American people are waiting for the primaries to end and for the GOP convention to finally select the Republican presidential Candidate. After such a grueling, stretched out, abrasive campaign, they would like to believe that-- "that's all there is."
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

What in the world is going on here?

The GOP presidential primary campaign has been more like an undeclared war, with constant verbal battles being fought between the candidates, accompanied by shots heard around the world by their "unconnected" Political Action Committees.

These competing PACs have some things in common; they want to emphasize that they are trying to elect a true, all-American candidate, and avoid having the country become a socialist state. They also have inadvertently taken the banner of the 1960s "Negro" Freedom Now Party, to help Americans find their freedom from the oppressive tactics promulgated by President Obama.

Branding geniuses have configured PAC names to represent something other than Newt's "food stamp president's" vision of America. Speaking of Newt, and no one speaks for Newt, his PAC names proudly show that he is there to change the disastrous path this administration has taken and are named "Strong America Now," and "Winning our Future."

Santorum's PACs are more direct and patriotic in their names, and they don't offer Americans any doubt where they stand. His unconnected "Red, White and Blue" PAC uses the same colors as those in the Taiwanese flag. Is this PAC trying to capture the countless throngs who are affected by the Jeremy Lin craze? His "Leaders for Families" is a dubious and ambiguously named PAC, for uninitiated outsiders may not know if he intends to lead families down the primrose path, and if he is a plural.

Both he and Romney now have secret service protection and have code names to identify them. Mitt has chosen the alias "Javelin," perhaps for his pointed remarks, or his pointless ones. Santorum has once again aligned himself with his ever-present Bible and selected the name "Petrus" which refers to St. Peter. In his speeches he either names God or his demigod Reagan as those he truly believes in.

During the Michigan primary, Romney proclaimed himself to be Michigan Mitt, albeit after a forty-year hiatus from his "native state." He also has unconnected PACs whose names reflect his campaign ideals; "Citizens for Working America" and "Winning Our Future." Mitt and other GOP candidates emphasize the loss of individual freedoms under Obama, and still another unconnected PAC of his is out to "Restore Our Freedom."

One of Ron Paul's unconnected PAC's name almost proposes anarchy and the possibility of initiating dangerous action -- "Revolution." His other PAC's name could belong to anyone as it recommends that we all "Endorse Liberty."

Obama is taking a different PAC tact, as his branding geniuses have promulgated the theme of his campaign with "Priorities USA Action."

The meaningless PAC names are no more than contrived advertising slogans that allow candidates to avoid making any concrete proposals of their vision for America. Perhaps it is because they don't really have any, other than to beat Obama.

Candidates could better reach the voters by using more meaningful, pithy Yiddish expressions on the campaign trail. They could do so without having to don a yarmulke upon their heads, except when campaigning in southeastern Florida or New York City.

When a candidate is pressed for a specific answer to a question asked by any elite media's reporter, the candidate could avoid being caught saying something that would become fodder for his opposition by merely scrunching his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders and prophetically proclaiming, "ver veyst" -- "who knows."

When candidates compete to show how ultra-conservative they are after Fox News provocateurs O'Reilly or Hannity derisively asks about Obama, they can solidify their not-so-secret right-wing cabal by first uttering an abusive statement. Then in all innocence, they can look to the left and then to the right, and then put their right forefinger to their lips, wink and murmur, "zog gornisht" -- "say nothing."

When deriding Obama, which is par for the coarse, instead of going into a prolonged diatribe, a simple "veyst fun bobkes" answer -- "knows very little" -- will more than suffice.

If Santorum attacks Romney yet again, Mitt can counter with "gey shray gevald" -- "go shout in protest." Romney can also give Santorum a piercing, frustrated look, and since he wants Rick out of the race, you might hear him uttering "genug iz genug" -- "enough is enough." This happens to be the feeling of most Americans towards the campaign itself.

After each primary, where the candidates come up with a winning attitude even when they have lost, they could graciously accept defeat with a "vos vet zayn, vet zayn" attitude -- "what will be, will be."

The American people are waiting for the primaries to end and for the GOP convention to finally select the Republican presidential Candidate. After such a grueling, stretched out, abrasive campaign, they would like to believe that "dos iz alts" -- "that's all there is." However, Americans are realistic enough to know that it's just the beginning of the real campaign season.

Perhaps if the candidates of both parties agreed to use only the wise Yiddish expressions and noble philosophy found in The Oy Way during the campaign, they may help the voters avoid repeating oy vey.

Go To Homepage

Popular in the Community