What's 'Good' About Trump: America's (Inadvertent) Excellent Vocabulary Lesson

Pathetically, Trump doesn't realize that the reason why we women can't take our eyes off of him, is not because it's as if Chris Hemsworth has moved in next door, and we're hoping to get a glimpse of him weeding his garden. It's more like Trump is the weird, old, white guy (with ever-changing, drug-store hair color) who has suddenly parked in our neighborhood in his weird, old, white van, and we can't take our eyes off of him, for fear of what he will do next.

Okay, I moved that line sooner in my piece to capture your attention. What I really wanted to ask was for the "mean" (albeit, superhero) girls of the media--you all know who you are--to stop picking on Trump. Come on, ladies, can't you give this presidential chameleon a chance?

Seriously, though. Don't stop. Here's why--

I recently succumbed to something Trump is "right" about: He really is, in his own words, "Really, really, good with words." Never mind that they're mostly monosyllabic, simple-minded, ones. (According to Yourdictionary.com Yourdictionary.com, amongst his "20 Most Frequently Used Words" are: Huge, Bad, They, Weak, and Stupid.) Interestingly, his vocab--or lack thereof--doesn't insult the intelligence of his, mostly male, followers. So, they're all good. (I'll get to what's in it for the rest of us, in a moment.)

Clearly, when Trump wants to emphasize something, he simply adds a few more "so's." As in, "Our country is going to be so, so, so, so, great," and we're going to be "So, so, so, safe." At the RNC, one of the Donny Jrs. took it one "so" further, when he said, "I love my dad so, so, so, so, so, so, much." Either way, Trump's followers "get" it: Our country, under the Trump regime, will be like, really, really, great.

But, here is what's "good" for the rest of us...

However inadvertently, Trump, as everyone knows, has inspired some of America's best political writing/satire the world has ever known. I, along with countless others, can't get enough of reading everything negative about him. (And, yes, a lot has already been written about that phenomenon.) Admittedly, with the precision of those who can recall every baseball stat ever recorded, many of us have committed to memory every time he has struck out; committed an unforced and forced error; maintained a low batting average; and we know the details of every man or woman he has ever left on base (amongst many other baseball metaphors). That's not fair, is it?

But, here's what's positive--

Unwittingly, Trump has unleashed some excellent vocabulary words on the reading public. Specifically, it's not words used by him, it's words written about him that neither he nor his mainstay of "uneducated white males," presumably, have in their wheelhouse of words. So, no harm, no foul. Fascinating, to me, is how legions of writers (of the elite, and mainstream media) have resorted to using sometimes esoteric, multi-syllabic words in an attempt to explain--mainly to those who won't be voting for him--what the hell is happening.

Here is a sampling: (So I don't get accused of plagiarizing the dictionary, many of these definitions are from Vocabulary.com. https://www.vocabulary.com)

1. A Screed is a:

A. Buffoon.

B. Long, monotonous harangue.

C. Tightly written tribute.

D. Manifesto

2. Excoriate means to:

A. Redefine

B. Ban

C. Condemn

D. Reassess

3. Inured

A. Invidious

B. Hardened

C. Equivocate

D. Unmitigated

4. Where would you see most likely see an act of defenestration:

A. A basement.

B. Around a Christmas tree.

C. Under a suspension bridge.

D. On a building's upper floor.

5. Avarice means:

A. Greed

B. Friction

C. Arrogance

D. Privation

6. Aspersion means:

A. Rebus

B. Vomit

C. Slur

D. Euphemism

7. What might someone in a fugue perceive?

A. The basic principles of polls.

B. The surest way to find employment in politics.

C. The passage of chronological time.

D. Things that are not really there.

8. A man who is known for his mendacity is likely to do which of the following:

A. Fight for what is just.

B. Go against the grain.

C. Not tell the truth.

D. Not talk to women.

9. In which situation does a person rout something?

A. A girl sells candy during recess.

B. A woman drives a car over the speed limit.

C. A boy whips a bowl of heavy cream.

D. A man scares bees away from their hive.

10. Augur means to:

A. Demean

B. Foretell

C. Impede

D. Downplay

11. Cravenly means:

A. Cowardly

B. Quaintly

C. Decisively

D. Deceptively

12. Prevaricate means to:

A. Pivot

B. Misconstrue

C. Equivocate

D. Mislead

What's good about Trump's poor grasp of reality beyond his towers--and his whimpering that the media is unfair and "mean" to him--is that he has elevated America's reading levels (in volume and grade level) to new heights. As an added bonus, Trump (also unintentionally) lured out of hiding, one of my favorite wordsmiths/political scientists, Jon Stewart http://www.cnn.com/videos/entertainment/2016/07/22/jon-stewart-late-show-rnc-rant-orig-vstan.cnn-- a man who truly does have a way with women, words, and the American way. For that, Trump certainly deserves an A+, and a well-deserved gold star (of the stick-on variety). To say nothing of how Trump inspired this female writer, to somehow write Chris Helmsworth into the script.

1) b; 2) c; 3)b; 4) d; 5) a; 6) c; 7) d; 8) c; 9) d; 10) b; 11) a; 12) d