A few weeks ago I had a very clear knowing that it was time to share my writing on line. I envisioned having an online canvas (so-to-speak) on which to write/create.
So I took the steps I coach others to do. I created a project and a clear next action in the form of a Waiting For. Honestly it was more perfunctory vs. me being actively involved. I didn't flush out the project taking it all the way to completion. Instead I was relying on hearing back from one person rather than me exploring many options. I got lazy. And I kept looking at the pictures in my mind of how much was involved in setting up a website (which was part of the project), finding the right person to assist etc. etc. I let the overwhelm I was feeling stop me from getting more deeply involved in seeing the specifics of my vision. Needless to say the initial clarity, enthusiasm and energy that I experienced when I first envisioned having a place to write online slowly diminished over the month.
Until yesterday when my good friend called me forward into action and dared me to think outside the box and just get it done. I watched myself give her all the reasons that were in the way of moving forward. But lurking underneath those reasons was the reality of what was stopping me. I realized that my form of procrastinating was not really about being lazy but more about thinking I had to have the perfect platform, the right person etc. to assist me. And, as I heard myself say it out loud, I understood that none of it was valid...so I accepted her challenge.
That afternoon I reached out to five people asking for support. But again I was assuming one of them would "rescue" me and be willing to do it. One of them actually did rescue me but not in the way I anticipated. She suggested simplifying the project and using BlogSpot instead of creating another website. I overrode the inner "it's way beyond your technical skills" dialogue and I went to my computer and opened BlogSpot. And what did I discover? I had already set up a blog a number of years ago and had made a few entries. I had forgotten and the reason I had forgotten is that at that time it was created as a "have-to." This time around it is a "joy-to." I actually had fun figuring out how to edit the pages to match my new vision.
So is the site perfect? No. Does it work and can I write? Yes, and I am writing. One of the benefits is that I freed up all that stuck energy. I will be tweaking it (with some technical assistance) but in the meantime I have the canvas on which to write-that is the freedom.
I am blessed to have a friend who cared enough to kick my butt and allow me to let go of my reasons and excuses and attachment to the perfection of how to do it. And that is the real freedom.
The next time someone asks me "what is stopping you?" the only truthful reply will be "I am."
Martha Invitations
1. Mind map a project that is not moving and see if you can move into outside the box thinking to energize it.
2. Watch what you tell yourself you can't do and find a way around it.
3. Ask a colleague or friend to hold you accountable on something you are avoiding completing.
Martha