My barn having burned to the ground,
I can now see the Moon.
Japanese folk saying
An attitude of gratitude is essential. For instance, I’d rather have an older model wheelchair with torn, faded seat covers than to not have a wheelchair at all. I have learned to appreciate everything in my life, even my impatience and frustration. Then, no matter what happens, I am a grateful person.
Through our inner and outer expression of gratitude, we thank God for even the simplest of pleasures—the haunting song of the mourning dove, the sound of a gentle rain on the roof, the brilliant colors of an autumn day, the intimate support of friends and loved ones, the first twinkling star of the evening—even the discomfort associated with our bodies. Gratitude reminds us to find our happiness in exceptional things, mundane things, the good things, the so-so things—even the terrible things.
Another example of gratitude from my life: I am grateful for the simple action of using my thumbs, which I have always taken for granted; and which, in my present reality, I need to operate my electric scooter. I use my right thumb to accelerate my scooter (to walk forward), and I use my left thumb to back up my scooter (to walk backward). Have you ever tried to pick up something without using your thumbs? I am grateful for how my fingers grasp things and extend so I can type (even if, again in my present reality, it’s with just one finger), or scratch my nose, or put on my lipstick and struggle with my mascara. That feeling of gratitude has a wonderful, protective quality to it.
I am also grateful for my five senses. It never ceases to amaze me that my body produces and destroys blood cells every second, and that my heart needs only one minute to pump all of my blood through my body’s network of cells and tissues and back again. It’s been doing this minute by minute, day by day, for over 67 years.
In the aftermath of the 2016’s unprecedented presidential election, now that we’re starting to make plans for 2017, after regularly challenging the legitimacy of our chosen officials in this new administration, it’s hardly a surprise that, despite celebrating the diversity of our freedom of news sources, talk radio hosts, late-night shows and social media networks, we don’t seem to be happier than our ancestors. In this state-of-the art day, we tend to have unrealistic expectations, which often lead to increased disappointment when these expectations are not met. We complain about others having more than we have, that others aren’t doing enough for us, that there “won’t be enough for me when I get there,” or “I’m all alone in this,” or, for me now that I am in a wheelchair, or dealing with any of life challenges, “I have to prove myself.”
When our hearts are open, forgiveness and gratitude evolve simultaneously, each supporting and feeding the other. Rather than focusing on what might be more, better, or different, why not start being grateful for what is in front of you, right now?
My husband, Michael, is one of my life’s true blessings. His love and genuine support help me affirm my conviction, that neither my physical body nor the things I say, do, believe, or feel are true reflections of my self-worth.
Some people like to make a “gratitude list” at the end of the day of at least three things that they are grateful for. Others keep a journal or post-it notes around their home or office as a reminder of what is good in their lives.
To get into this mindset quickly, try this experiment:
· Think of something (or someone) you are profoundly grateful for.
· For this purpose, it is important that it be something deep and meaningful, because we are going to tap into that experience.
· Be grateful for the way your body has supported you throughout the years (walking, driving, running, dancing, biking, hiking; getting you to class, to work, your kids’ activities; helping you to stand, to cook, teach, study, perform)
· You could be grateful for a material treasure that you own,
(I treasure my worn-out plaque when I was ‘Best All Around Camper’ for 5 years in a row when I nine years old); respecting a nurturing and supportive relationship you are in; or a pet or your child you love very much.
· You could be grateful for something that could have happened, but didn’t; an accident from which you emerged unharmed; a debt crisis that was resolved without harmful consequences; or a loved one’s recovery from a serious illness.
· Close your eyes and experience the feeling of gratitude that comes over you.
· Notice the relief and release in your body, mind, and emotions that come with the feeling of gratitude.
This dynamic exercise is an excellent tool for relieving stress. You are focusing on what is really important to you, and momentarily leaving behind the petty distractions of life, giving you a higher perspective on life, and enabling you to clearly see your life situations from a bird’s eye view, or a 30 foot high altitude.
When you relax, breathe deeply, and focus completely, you will find that most of your problems will disappear, at least for that instant. Be grateful for whatever is around you right now, this minute. Every time you are in a state of gratitude, you radiate positive energy, which benefits you not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. If you don’t believe me, look in the mirror when you are feeling fulfilled and at peace!
In quiet moments, I recognize that I have a choice; and I can look with gratitude upon the information about my life that comes to me in the form of muscle spasms, headache, lower back pain, tremors, disappointment, anger, grief, fear, confusion, doubt, and self-judgment. In all of these, I find lessons to wake myself up, reduce stress, live more fully in the moment, rest, forgive, and be true to my intentions to love myself, love God, and serve others. Each ache and pain, each moment of doubt or fear, is part of an automatic feedback system, directing me to pay more attention in that moment, and to appreciate all that is so magnificent in my life that I sometimes forget or take for granted.
I know that when I take the time to be grateful, I naturally become more loving, forgiving, and respectful toward the wonder of the human body, and I recognize the spark of the Divine Spirit that is in all of us. When I am feeling grateful, I find that I can more easily look for only the good in people and events, and leave the responsibility of fixing the broken pieces to God. It is then that I truly cease to judge myself and my own life. And it is then that I can better see that my adverse circumstances, my sense of unworthiness, the pain or hurt feelings I experience are my teachers.
Gratitude is ultimately the work of the heart.
With love on Valentine’s Day,
Linda
LINDA NOBLE TOPF
'ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING'
Life Coach & Spiritual Counselor SINCE 1984, Published Author, Ordained minister
Author: Wheelchair Wisdom: Awaken Your Spirit through Adversity
Author: You Are Not Your Illness: Seven Principles for Meeting the Challenge of Illness
TEL: 484-434-8020 MOBILE: 610-405-1815 CONTACT ME. I COUNSEL OVER THE TELEPHONE. Email: lnobletopf@comcast.net
Website:www.lindanobletopf.com