Some people in life burn bridges and make little to no effort to keep friendships alive; letting them die out for a myriad of reasons. They’re in a new relationship, they’re busy with other things, they’ve moved away, they’ve outgrown you, etc.
Me? I was always the opposite.
I’ve always considered myself someone who maintained strong and long-lasting friendships with people — friends I’ve had throughout the years and from different walks of life: my hometown, college, work, you name it. If I called you a friend at any point, you were a lifer. I made a concerted effort to see and speak to you; to stay in touch. I reached out to make plans when it had been too long and made sure you were updated on my life and me, yours.
Beautiful, right?
But something changed recently. Sure, my friendships still mean the world to me, but I realized something — something I never comprehended before.
Some friendships aren’t meant to last forever.
And that’s OK.
There are a ton of reasons why a friendship can fade, fizzle or flat-out end: you’ve grown apart, you no longer have common interests, you disagree fundamentally with their actions and behaviors, you’ve moved on from the very thing that connected you in the first place. Maybe you became friends with a person through a romantic relationship you were in and that relationship ended, making the friendship difficult to maintain. Perhaps you became really close with a coworker, one whom you saw in the office every day, and then one of you left the company.
Maybe — and perhaps the saddest scenario of them all — you have a serious, anger-filled, devastating falling out.
I’m here to tell you all of that is OK.
- Do you find yourself in a scenario where you consistently reach out and make an effort in a friendship where the other person does not?
- Do you have fond memories and feelings towards a friendship from your past but also realize there’s not really a place for said friendship in your present and future?
- Has someone you once considered a close friend changed in a way you aren’t comfortable with or particularly fond of?
- Are you having a tough time resuscitating a friendship that feels, quite frankly, dead?
Then, my friends, you gotta let that friendship go. It has run its course. It has reached its expiration date. The proverbial ship has sailed. You can now focus your time and energy on the lifelong friendships; the ones with staying power and longevity — the ones that are a two-way street with both parties keeping the bond alive and strong.
Because if two people want a friendship to last, they will make it happen.
They say “people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime.” And it doesn’t diminish the importance of a relationship simply because that person might have only been around for a season or for a particular reason. It can still have meaningful impact on your life, even if you move on from it (or they move on from you).
So if you find yourself currently mourning a friendship that no longer exists, ask yourself: is it possible that it was meant to end when it did? And if so, time to move on.
What do you guys think? Have you experienced anything like this?
