One of my Dad's favorite expressions was, "You must have been hiding behind the barn when the brains got handed out."
I never really understood why someone would hide in order to avoid brains. But I got the point. I always seemed to miss something important.
I knew by the age of 15 that I must have been hiding behind the barn when the boobies got handed out.
And there have been lots of cultural changes that seemed to have happened while I was behind the barn.
For instance, I seem to have missed that moment in time when spaghetti became pasta. And:
And when did pocketbooks become handbags?
When did quilts become duvets? (And how do you keep the inside part of the duvet from bunching up at the end of the outer duvet?)
When, exactly, did station wagons become SUVs? Or minivans? What makes a minivan mini, anyway? They look pretty big to me.
When did rouge become blush? When did moisturizer become BB cream? When did BB cream become CC cream? When is DD coming out?
When did water become something you buy?
When did beer transition from Schlitz to Boutique?
And when did self-centered, demanding bitches become divas? And why is it OK for little girls to want to become one?
- When did potatoes become starch? When did meat become protein?
And -- at the risk of getting too serious (which I almost never am):
When did compromise become a dirty word?
When did we stop even pretending that we care about poor people?
- When did warfare become conventional?
Calling all HuffPost superfans!
Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter