When Life Gives You Lemons

.. facing challenges with determination.

Do you know anyone born with a silver spoon in their mouth, without a care, who was never questioned about their identity, skill or their worthiness, surrounded by an unlimited measure of riches, comforts, love and health? I doubt it. Frankly, a life free of worries is a fallacy as it is part of life.

Even our ancient religions speak of the same thing: take it in stride, there is karma and eternal balance, work hard, have faith, and believe.

Yet, when we face opposition or defeat, our gut reaction is often reverse. When we find that our grand idea needs fine-tuning, our best efforts fell short by a little bit or someone killed all inspiration with one word, “No”, we spiral down into a black rabbit hole and experience visceral emotions - sadness, panic, embarrassment and self-doubt. After all, we are human and rightly are allowed those feelings without guilt. But none of these feelings, however visceral or natural, help us in the long run. What if we teach ourselves to replace it with new emotions, just as instinctive, human and natural: hope and determination?

I was told ‘no’ often, especially when I wanted to write my first cookbook. But I did not let it stop me. Since 2013 I have written, photographed and designed three cookbooks and am writing my fourth cookbook and food fiction. But though one would think that creating your own book would be an easy task. Neither the first book nor my fourth one has been easy to write. Writing your own books means preparing to juggle and battle critics of all shapes and sizes. From children, elders, and friends to foes. Instead of one reviewer, critic or opinion, sometimes 1000 or more people, who are neither related to you nor each other, who don’t have any qualms about barraging you with criticism.

The customer wants to be right, and the family IS right, always.

I wade through a minefield of family dynamics with this next book because it is inspired by family history. You might wonder: how hard is it to write down Bharati Kaki’s Alu-Palak, or Jaya Bua’s special laddoo recipe? But it is much harder to write personal recipes because fact and fiction collide, sometimes you don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle, and sometimes personal biases come in the way. When family recipes are documented, some don’t realize that in preserving traditional recipes, we choose to preserve the memories of special people, remain hopeful, human, and perhaps make room for our memories. In our eagerness to stay current, we sometimes ignore the very things that make our present possible. Perhaps in a few generations, we will become so far removed from what once was, that no one will know who neither Bharati Kaki nor Jaya Bua was nor their life circumstances! Someone has to make the first attempt to hold on to important things and better still, find a way to continue to spread hope past present challenges and preserving all that make our good life possible.

With each stride into the book publishing world, I have found tremendous support in the global community, thanks to crowdfunding (different from a vanity publication where the author pays for their own project). But it is not always about money. Each of my books was supported by mostly strangers who believed in giving a chance to someone new, having the faith that they could do it, offering empathy and support to a dreamer and helping me preserve my culinary heritage. Well-wishers and friends did different things: a helping hand here, a small nudge or a ‘let me make a phone call’ there. They share my social media updates, allow me an opportunity to write a guest-blog, cook my recipe for their friends and tell them about me, help fix a computer issue, share a contact to an influential person, or simply even sit down with me over chai and let me work through my anxiety.

But it is most gratifying to learn that many readers buy books for their younger family members, not just for new recipes, but because they see tangible results of their confidence, faith, and generosity towards a stranger, wanting to instill the same feelings in the next generation – to teach them the value of hope and determination, and that preserving culinary histories is important. And learning that, was the best feeling of all.

A conversation with a friend sparked this inspiring phrase: When life gives you lemons, make lemon pickle. Spicy and bitter-sweet, somewhat unexpected and always ready to perk up your plate. And just like the memories we want to preserve, it stays good for a long time, travels with us and reminds us of our roots, of people we love, and of a place we call home.

About: Nandita is an internationally known indie cookbook author, who presently lives in Roswell, GA, USA. Find this recipe for her quick Key Lime Pickle (pictured above) and many other family recipes in her fourth cookbook and food fiction ‘Not For You: Family Narratives of Denial & Comfort Foods’, which is due for release in late Summer of 2017. This book can be pre-ordered via her website or blog: www.currycravings.com or www.currycravingskitchen.com