A few months ago our beloved sister Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat Pray Love) posted a beautiful reminder to Go To The Water* when you are sick, healing, grieving---when you are any or any or all of The Brokens. Liz believes in the healing power of water, and so do I--so much so that I cry a little in my heart every time I remember I live in Cincinnati...
OHIO.
For the geographically challenged, this means I am completely, totally landlocked: the nearest ocean/gulf is a solid 11 hours away.
I've been quietly (read: loudly) sulking about this fact ever since we moved back from Norfolk, Virginia, where there was a marina at the end of our street.
I thought many times during my deep depression that life would just be SO MUCH BETTER if only I had an ocean. If I had an ocean, I would be HAPPY. If I had an ocean, I would be SERENE. If I had an ocean, I would be one of those super-fit tan, beautiful, buddha-esque people who run/walk/yoga/journal on the beach. Every day. TWICE A DAY.
The problem in my life was clearly the lack of an ocean, people. So I did the totally responsible thing and ran away. To Bali, Indonesia, where there is nothing but ocean.
And...
I did NOT magically become a super-fit, tan, beautiful, buddha-esque person who ran/walked/yoga-ed/journaled on the beach. Nope....
I went to Bali and had my second full-on breakdown. I cried so much I could have filled my own darn ocean.
*Note:You might be clinically depressed if you wake up every morning in BALI, sobbing*
I came home more broken than I left. Much more broken. (So much for that ocean fantasy.) (DAMN IT!)
I learned you can run, but you can't hide from yourself. You bring you--and all your problems--with you.
I learned the answer is not the ocean. The answer is, always was, and always will be--me. I KNOW, sooooooo disappointing.
I learned Happiness, peace, courage, health, kindness, serenity do NOT exist on the other side of an ocean somewhere.
I learned everything that matters exists in the here-and-now, in this moment.
I learned that if these things don't exist in my here-and-now, they will never exist in my then-and-there.
I learned I have to PRACTICE the qualities I want in my life--exactly where I am, exactly as I am.
Which means:
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
So last week when I felt that familiar fantasy-ocean pang:
I started where I was: downtown Cincinnati, in landlocked Ohio.
I used what I had: the Ohio River.
I did what I could: I took myself, my yoga mat, my journal, a camping chair, and coffee to the rocky riverbank, and I watched the sun rise.
Couraging: Brave Is A Verb (Book to follow..when I finish it.)
And guess what? It was better than Bali, because I AM BETTER than I was in Bali.
It turns out never needed the ocean. I just needed to remember:
When you are Broken: Start where you are.
♡ Keep Couraging ON.
Love, Reba
Reba Riley is the author of Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman’s Desperate, Funny, Healing Journey To Explore 30 Religions By Her 30th Birthday, the 2016 memoir Elizabeth Gilbert calls: “Hilarious, courageous, provocative, profound...Reba Riley brings the light for seekers of all paths. If Eat Pray Love had a gutsy, wise, funny little sister, it would be Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome.” She is a motivational speaker, blogger, and television contributor. You can find her online on Facebook Instagram Twitter