Where do I see myself in 5 years? I haven't got a clue (and it feels great!).

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I haven't got a clue (and it feels great!).
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If you believe the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator offers anything of value (which I do, but apparently studies have shown it's a bunch of gobbledygook), then the fact that I'm an INTJ will tell you a lot about me. While I've fluctuated over the years between E and I, N and S (that's extraversion versus introversion and intuitive versus sensing), I have always been a J.

J stands for judging, and confusingly, has nothing to do with how judgmental you are and more to do with how you like to live your life. J’s prefer plans, structure, order and sticking to decisions once they've been made. P’s (the opposite) prefer spontaneity, flexibility and staying open minded as new information comes in.

If you know I'm an INTJ, you'll understand why I flinch in pain when you cancel at the last minute or why I obsessively clean and organize my desk before I start my work. It's also why I have my workouts planned a week in advance and why I build daily (sometimes hourly) schedules for my vacations. These behaviors drive P’s crazy, but J's like me find comfort in control.

Here's the downside. While J’s are excellent party planners, reliable partners and the people least likely to forget a birthday, we suck at dealing with the unknown. In fact, we overcompensate in moments of uncertainty by reverting to what we do best: planning. And then we spend a lot of time worrying that the plan will fall through.

I read an analogy recently that helps bring this concept to life, and it goes like this: Would you feel foolish wearing your winter coat in the summer? We all know that winter comes every year, but most of us don't walk around in July wearing a coat because we know one day it’ll be cold enough to need one.

But we do this with our emotions. We anticipate the future and react emotionally as if what we fear is imminent. With our winter coats, we know it's good enough to have one in the closet. But with our emotions, we make ourselves miserable anticipating the future, instead of waiting and dealing with it when it actually happens.

A lot of people believe that planning is a must when it comes to their careers. That if you don’t know exactly what you want to do by the time you’re 21 (or 31 or 41) you’re somehow doomed.

I think that’s crazy. Most people need to gain lots of life experience, put their skills into practice and actually explore multiple careers before they know what they like, and even then, we are constantly changing and adapting as we learn more about the world and ourselves.

Remember how I said I'm a J and there's nothing I love more than planning, and structure? Well even though this is true for most aspects of my life, I don't believe in planning my career.

I used to. In fact, I started with a plan. When I was 18, I just knew I was going to be the Editor-in-Chief of People Magazine. Only, when I was 20, I laughed because I was actually going to be the CEO of The Walt Disney Company. Seven years later, that plan flew out the window, too.

I never planned to move to Philadelphia. I never planned to get laid off, to start my own business or to become a career coach. Circumstances changed, I changed, and no matter how much I planned, I didn't see any of these things coming. Yet they did, and each of them brought value into my life.

The truth is that I speak to so many people who feel terrible and lost because they've wandered off the plan they set. Something happens that triggers a change in them and they're no longer passionate about the work they do. They tell me they feel broken or like they're betraying themselves, because they’re conditioned to believe they have to choose one, single career and pursue it with gusto for 45 years. Then a kink reveals itself, and rather than being trained to embrace it, they feel fear, guilt and shame.

We're well-intentioned with the plans we make, and we've been taught by employers who love to ask where we see ourselves in 5, 10 or 15 years that these details hold importance. But for many people, expertly-crafted ideals about the "path" your career will take can turn out to be harbingers of rigidity or negative feelings that don't serve you.

When I think about my career, I've found that learning to let go of my desire to over-engineer has provided me with a rush of freedom. Instead of focusing on what's next, I'm focusing on what's now. I'm taking energy I was wasting on worry and devoting it to making my present day fulfilling. Ultimately, I believe those actions will guide me toward the "right" next step in my career, when I'm ready to take that step.

I want to make one thing clear: I'm not implying or suggesting that plans and goals are a lost cause, because for many people, the mere act of thinking about where they see themselves can put them on a trajectory toward making it reality. Rather, my point is that goals and plans change, so trying to figure out your whole life can backfire if you don't remain flexible and open to opportunities that arise unexpectedly.

I say go on, set goals, and if you want to, continue to make plans. Just recognize that if you wake up one morning and your goal needs to change, it doesn't mean you're confused, lost or broken. It means you're human, and it means you've grown. And that's something to embrace.

Gabrielle (Gabby) Bill is a Philadelphia-based career coach & consultant who works with early- to mid- stage professionals in their pursuit of discovering, and landing, jobs that leave them feeling fulfilled. She helps people uncover their unique passions, motivations, values and skills, then helps them translate those findings into plans that achieve real results.

To learn more about career coaching, you can join Gabby's newsletter or schedule a free, 30-minute meet and greet with her.

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