Last summer while visiting Paris, my husband and I were sitting in the grass at Parc des Buttes-Chaumont when a stranger committed suicide right in front of us, by jumping from a high place. It took us weeks to be able to talk about it without crying – some core upheaval inside us.
I asked my most intuitive friend what it meant, why I was so affected. She said that, as a voting U.S. citizen who lives in Europe, perhaps the experience touched on my feelings about America’s political situation – as if my nation has jumped from a precipice and is hurtling toward a tragic end. And that perhaps I should write about it.
I don’t do current events, nor am I an activist. I write about relationships. I even believe that saying No! actually means Yes, because whatever we focus on grows and whatever we protest is fed. Still, I’m concerned. And like everyone else, I’m looking for the best response.
Some friends of mine have a nine-year-old daughter who was being bullied at school last year. She really cared about the other girl, and so kept taking it, giving back kindness, believing it would get better. It was inspiring to watch. Finally, the parents and the school became proactive, recognized that the other girl needed help but also gave her a zero-tolerance warning, and took steps to see that everyone involved was taken care of.
I don’t debate my friends and family who voted differently from how I voted, because I believe that trying to talk anyone into anything is ineffective. People don’t hear the answer to a question they didn’t ask. And anyway, they’re right from their perspective.
The good news is that, with Saturday’s marches, something extraordinary happened throughout the world. And the ripple effect is beginning to show.
Yesterday, the Dutch government announced a response to America’s re-instituted ban on funding international groups that perform abortions or provide information about abortions. The idea is to launch a new fund that would be supported by world governments, businesses and social organizations, to “compensate this financial setback,” and to help the countless women around the world who will get their abortions anyway, just not safely.
It’s brilliant. Instead of lambasting the American government, they’ve simply stepped in to fill the need and to make sure that everyone involved is taken care of. And since my husband is Dutch, it’s also cool for me to see this tiny country take the lead in doing the right thing.
Our best choice is to take the high road. The biggest harm that can come to us is through our resistance and our negative response, because it creates dis-ease in us. We need to think without fear and respond without hate. And if we’re going to protest, we need to find a way to say No in a way that actually says Yes to what we want, because that’s how we’ll get it.
You can read more of Grace de Rond’s posts at gracederond.com.