Where To From Here? A Life After 50

I'm free.... and terrified.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

I’m terrified.

This is a step in my life I hadn’t envisioned. I really thought I had all my ducks in a row and I could handle anything that was sent my way. But THIS?

This is a turning point in my life that’s not traumatic in the usual way, but I have been knocked for a 6 by it.

My whole life has been washed by the platitudes of caring for others. To be there for others, raise my kids, love my kids, try to be a good wife, care for my patients, be mindful of my pets needs and over and above everything else - what felt like supplying the entire world with what is expected of me as a mom, a health practitioner, a wife and everything and anything else that’s been expected of me.

Or so I thought.

My vision for my ‘winter years’ was to keep the family home for my kids and their kids to return to whenever they need to feel nurtured and/or safe. A place to be content and just relax away from the demands the outside world has offered them.

Now that I look back I realise that that was never their plan. Their plans were to have adventures, take risks, travel, learn, get hurt and learn new coping ingenuity, get married, have their own kids and adventures.

So here I am ― no longer a mom to 6 young growing sons, no longer a wife, no longer even in business! No longer living in my own home or even renting one. No longer answerable to anyone but myself.

I’m free.... and terrified.

Once the trappings of my previous life were set free I floundered. I became no one. Living nowhere. I went through the process of rediscovery and ultimately redefining myself.

So here I am now, sitting in front of my computer writing from the heart. Learning from the best, sharing my life story with the world and ultimately realising that THIS is my new path. A cacophony of trial, experiments, homelessness, fearlessness and creativity.

I have gone from being a working mom of 6 sons with a full time business and living in a home on the beach to having everything I own fitting in my car, a mobile transient business patchworked with writing, travel, coaching women how to redefine themselves after midlife and sometimes being overwhelmingly content.

SO....what am I afraid of?...I’m also asking myself this question!

Is it the old ‘afraid of success’ thing? I don’t think so, I reckon it’s a terror of once again breaking through those big old doors that have been closed for so long I’d forgotten they even existed. In fact it’s the fact that I even found the doors that’s really amaze me!

Once I open these metaphoric doors ― to my new world... everything will change.

And I mean everything. I have no idea which of my new loves, new ideals, new opportunities will materialize first.

How do I prepare myself for that? BUT I am going to take the step into the unknown anyway ― this time totally by myself. No support, but lots of hands ready to guide me.

This new life of mine I’m experimenting with, is such a journey of independence, joy, fear and challenges... I’m ready.

This article was previously published on www.BeInspiredLiving.com. Follow BeInspiredLiving’s Facebook for more updates.”

Before You Go

Hugh Grant

7 Celebrity Dads Who Embraced Fatherhood After 50

Close

What's Hot