Where Was The Church When My Parents Lay Sick And Dying? A Pentecostal Son's Lament

(Caption: Eddie B. Clincy, Fountain's dad, died Oct. 22, 2015.)

By John W. Fountain

As the grandson of a pastor, a Pentecostal son of the Church Of God In Christ, I have grown so sick and tired of half-truth speaking, judgmental holier-than-thou preachers who major in minors and minor in majors.

They condemn smokers and nonsensical, unscriptural so-called sins that we were taught as children growing up would send you straight to hell. I've never seen smoking cigarettes or consuming a little alcohol mentioned in the bible as "sins." I do, however, see backbiting, lying, stealing, hate, gluttony and an assortment of other ills for the soul that some of these jokers secretly engage in. But I'm not the judge. God is. (Amen, somebody?)

That is, in part, why I elected to give the eulogy of both my parents who died within the last two years of cancer. I would be less than a son to let some uncompassionate jackleg preacher speak over my mother and father. Why would I?

Did they speak with my parents while they cried in their last months and days of mortal life? Did they come to comfort them? Read scriptures? Sing songs or hymns? Hold their hand? Feed them? Look into their eyes and calm their fears with soothing words of comfort at night? No.

Did they administer last rites? No.

Or did they simply remain MIA as the church does with so many? Yes.

You want the truth? The whole truth?

The "church" is not the hope--not that institution that has come to symbolize the failure and the gulf that exists between so-called houses of worship and the communities where they are planted.

For my parents and family, "the church" was absent except for a few angels, like the Russells, a couple from Broadview Baptist Church in west suburban Broadview, Illinois, who often visited an area nursing home where they ministered to residents, including my mother. But mostly the church for my parents was invisible. Impotent. Uncaring. Insensitive. Cold, like a winter's wind--thrice iced over. Dead.

Indeed "the church" that my parents gave thousands of dollars and hours of time and talent, was not there for them in their neediest final hour. Rarely ever came to see my mom in the hospital and nursing homes over her last months of life. Rarely if ever visited her at home during those lonely days when she was consumed by Alzheimer's, confused, and in need of the church's loving arms.

"The church" was not there when my dad and my mom took their last breaths or even at their wakes. Too busy churching they were. Busy having district meetings and engaged in other nonsense where "church business" and "church busyness" pose as what Jesus established as the true mission of the true church.

Even worse, ill and insensitive things--even untruths--were said by certain "church members" about my parents. Some of it was said in so-called secret, other things over the pulpit.

And this is the travesty of "the church" as institution, one that continues to fuel the exodus of believers who have been church hurt, church misused and church abused. For many, myself included, the church has lost that "loving feeling." And I am today unashamedly one of an apparently growing number of what the national Christian research firm, the Barna Group, has identified as the "churchless."

In fact, there are 156 million churchless U.S. adults and children, according to Barna, with 76 percent having had "firsthand experience with one or more Christian churches" but who now seek to "better use their time in other ways." As one of the so-called churchless, I am more specifically among that subgroup that some researchers call "the dones"--those who once upon a time were fully immersed in the institutional church. Weary of church politics, abuses and even performance-based worship, we have abandoned ship, though not our faith.

As a Pentecostal son, I used to long for the embrace of the church that raised me. But it would have required that I not think, not stand, not believe for myself. It would have suffocated me, my voice, my soul. I am free in Christ who saved me.

I--we, as in others who have left the church--still believe that the hope is Christ. The "church" is not the hope--not that institution that has come to symbolize the failure and the gulf that exists between so-called houses of worship and the communities where they are planted. The hope is Christ. Christ--along with the body of believers worldwide. That is the hope. Our hope. One true hope.

And yet, I realize that my family's sufferings, abuses and hurts at the hands of so-called saints are not exclusive to us. Neither is that hope and faith upon which our hearts and souls found solace--even as those who should have been consoling us, helping us, instead became instruments of more hurt, abuse and uncompassionate words and actions.

That hope is summed up in words I spoke this past October at my dad Eddie B. Clincy's services. I pray that those of you who need it will find the same hope, healing, truth and blessed assurance that these words and the knowledge that He will never leave us nor forsake us, have provided to us.

In Jesus name, let the church say, "Amen."

Eulogy Excerpt:

"On this day,

as sure as there is a sun in the sky,

I have no doubt that Eddie B. Clincy has gone on to be with the Lord,

Reunited in glory with my mom and other loved ones who died in the Lord...

For, you see, no preacher can preach you into heaven

No loved one can wish you into heaven

No measure of wealth can buy you into heaven

There is no sideway

No driveway

No highway

No bi-way

Only one way--into heaven.

That way is Jesus

For Jesus said,

"I am the way, the truth, and the life:

no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (St. John 14:6)

And I just want to let you know,

--just in case you didn't already know--

That your salvation is

Not based on the last time you were in church

Not calculated by church attendance

(Oh, I don't care what some preachers may say: What does God say?)

Salvation is not allotted by your long, hard-to-pronounce church titles

By gold crosses and fancy robes or modern Churchianity pomp & circumstance

Or how much you give in tithes or offering

Not relegated by whether somebody thinks you are saved

Or whether you measure up to their non-scriptural conception of God's salvation

Not based on whether you smoked or drank...

For I would rather think my soul safer to have drank a little alcohol

Rather than to have sipped too often from the bitter cup of backbiting, pride and

holier-than-though contempt for my fellow man

just because "my sins" happen to be secret and yours more glaring

I would think my soul safer from damnation

to have smoked cigarettes rather than to have burned down

with my tongue, the reputations, names and personal business

of brothers & sisters with a self-appointed sense of sanctification

that in reality is self-righteousness, without compassion,

condescending, hypocritical,

devoid of love and downright sinful

No... Salvation

Is not by any of your deeds

Nor by any scheme you might conceive

Not by COGIC pedigree

Christian-stocracy

Or religiosity

But only by having our sins washed in the precious blood of the Lamb

Ye must be born again

O, I want you to know this afternoon, that Eddie

--that Daddy is all right now--

Indeed we have blessed assurance

For he not only named Christ at an early age but recently reaffirmed his faith in Christ

as Lord & Savior, confessing his sins and asking God to forgive him his sins

Oh, he's all right now...

For the bible says, "The wages of sin is death,

but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ Our Lord." (Romans 6:23)

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)...

But "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:1)

Jesus Saves

And I'm here, in part, to bear witness today that Eddie Clincy was saved.

That he lies at peace with his Maker.

And that part of what we have come here to do today

is simply to lay his mortal body to rest.

For he is saved by the grace of God and faith and acceptance of His son

Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.

Saved by His power divine.

And in Christ lies the hope that we will someday see Eddie again..."

Email: Author@Johnwfountain.com

Website: johnwfountain.com