When it comes unequal treatment of straight, white men, "can't jump" is really the long and short of it. Now, a few of those dudes are speaking out on behalf of their entire community -- and saying sorry for sucking.
"You've all been working so hard to fight inequality. And we admit, we haven't always been the most supportive. But we can explain," says an unnamed Caucasian man in a new video titled "White Guys: We Suck And We're Sorry." Oh, go on.
The four white dudes featured (acted by Matt Braunsdorf, Jack Wilkinson, Ronnie Fleming and Tory Smith) apologize for their lack of empathy while insisting that it's not really their fault. "If you knew how easy it is to be a straight white man in America, you'd get why we might be a bit resistant to change. Cut us some slack," they beg.
The video is written and produced by Stephen Parkhurst, whose apology on behalf of Gen Y, "Millennials: We Suck And We're Sorry" went viral last year.
The white guys generously concede that any accusations against "the gay mafia" for taking down Alec Baldwin, the man-hating courts for privileging mothers and "affirmative action" for blocking their access colleges are just their "way of processing this whole inequality concept."
And as for that slack they think they deserve? Upon further assessment: "Actually don't cut us any slack. We don't deserve it."
For this level of self-awareness, an inch of slack could be arranged.