If you're nostalgic for Asher Roth's days of popularity, there's a good chance you shop at Whole Foods—and so will enjoy this new mock rap video, "Whole Foods Parking Lot," from startup production team Fog And Smog:
The video is shot at Whole Foods in Santa Monica and on Lincoln Blvd. in Venice. Its (hilarious) lyrics take aim at a whole host of Whole Foods cliches. Some of the best lines:
It’s gettin real in the Whole Foods parking lots/ You know the deal with those little shopping carts they got.
Just then I saw a spot open up/My timin’s perfect—I’m creepin up./ But then this other dude try to steal it, goin the wrong way/ “Yo man, I’ve had a long day!”
Some girl in yoga pants is lookin at me funny/I’m just tryin' to find a decent pinot noir for under twenty!
Then I take it to the cheese counter—”Humboldt Fog?”/”We just ran out, sir.” “Really dog?”
I’ve been on edge ever since they took kombucha off the shelf.
This buster’s on his iPhone talkin to his friends/ Pickin up some cayenne pepper for his master cleanse./ “You’re the most annoying dude I’ve ever seen, brah./ Could you please move? You’re right in front of the quinoa.”
The complete lyrics:
Yo man...
Yo I know you see me here dude!!
I've been waiting here like 10 minutes, man!
No, no no... this is MY parking space man.
What you need to do is put your little hybrid in reverse,
And go out the way you came in.
WHAT?!?!
Yo its about to get REAL in the Whole Foods parking lot man...Chorus (with feeling)
It's getting' REAL in the Whole Foods Parking Lot
I got my STEEL and you know it gets sparked a lot
Im on my grind homie... It's on my mind homie!
These fools with clip boards are lookin' at me like they know me!It's getting' REAL in the Whole Foods Parking Lot
You know the DEAL with the little shopping carts they got...
Check out what I say, it happens every day...
It's how we LIVE on the west side of LA!!Verse 1
... Im ridin' slow in my Prius...
all leather, tinted windows... you cant see us!!
Everybody's trying to park, you can feel the tension
I'm in electric mode... can't even hear the engine (Shhhhhhh)Just then I saw a spot open up,
My timings perfect... Im creepin' up...
But then this other dude tried to steal it going the wrong way
Yo man, I've had a LONG DAY!Chorus
(same as before)Verse 2
Now I'm on this inside, looking at my list
Organic chicken, Kale Salad and a Lemon Twist.
Some girl in yoga pants is lookin at me funny
I'm just trying to find a decent Pinot Noir for under twenty!Then I take it to the cheese counter, Humboldt Fog?
We just ran out sir! Really Dog?
Take it easy man, I try to calm myself...
I've been on edge ever since they took Kombucha off the shelf...Chorus
(same as before)
Verse 3
This Busters on his iPhone talking to his friends,
Picking up some cayenne pepper for his master cleanse.
You're the most annoying dude I've ever SEEN brah...
Could you PLEASE move? You're RIGHT in front of the Quinoa.Damn, I'm about to check out.
Pay my 80 bucks for 6 things and get the heck out.
The express lane is moving hella slow...
Man, these fools don't know... that shit is getting REAL....Chorus
(same as before)