No, I'm not 40 years old. I'm not even 20 yet. However, identity crises aren't just experienced by the middle aged. At a time characterized by an urge for cultural competency, it has become practically impossible to avoid our identity, whether that means being female or male, or black or white. Oftentimes, this self-encounter results from an injustice, as demonstrated by blacks that protested the Sandra Bland non-indictment or women that took to the streets to protest unequal pay. Injustices often make us question how our sexual and racial identities are perceived by others. On the one hand, confronting our identity can cause shame, confusion, and even anger. On the other hand, however, it can vastly improve the way we live.
For one, confronting your identity will get you to stop fitting yourself into boxes. When stereotyping and discrimination persevere, it's pretty easy to place yourself into a box without even realizing it. As a black girl from Brooklyn, I've encountered enough assumptions about black girls to write a trilogy. "Black girls are ghetto." "Black girls are loud." "Black girls aren't classy." Consequently, I've often done everything in my power to emphasize that I'm not that black girl. However, just by dodging these stereotypes, I've already placed myself into another box -- the "non-black black girl," the black girl who defies every stereotype you've ever heard. Today, I've come to the realization that this "loud black girl" identity isn't something my people made up. It's something other members of society created in order to ostracize blacks and poke fun at their habits -- as if these habits aren't utilized by any other ethnic group. Even when we try to defy stereotypes by pushing ourselves to not be something, we become so caught up with defiance that we forget how to simply be. Once we realize that our identity doesn't have to fit into stereotypes or their opposites, then we can be whatever kind of person we would like to be.
Confronting your identity will also make you stop putting other people into boxes, which is just as beneficial to you as it is to them. The most crowded box that comes to mind is what I'll call the "slutbox." We've all put people in it, most times without even knowing whether or not they've ever had sex. Plus, we all know that this box is predominantly female, since the "male slut" is a concept we find hard to put into existence. However, especially at a time when campus sexual assault occurs but accountability does not, the fact that more and more women are learning that their identity is not just about economic freedom but also about sexual freedom is extremely valuable to the advancement of sexual assault awareness. When we accept misogynistic views of our identity, centered on the idea that women can't be flirtatious or dress skimpily, it becomes easier for us to accept common victim-shaming tactics used by public figures. Confronting and condemning misogyny will help us stop judging and being judged.
Facing who we are and how we are perceived can be frightening, especially during the young adult years, when we're not even sure who we want to become. However, our identities aren't fixed. We change with time and age. What's most important is ensuring that in the midst of negative perceptions of our womanhood or race, we find the freedom to tackle these perceptions, so that we can be whoever we want to be, at any point in time.