Originally published on Unwritten by Kristen Buccigrossi.
Recently I have found been trying to become a better version of myself. Not that I don’t actively do this every day, but I have felt the need to fully dedicate my time to doing good things and looking to take the higher road. Looking for ways to give back, to make people happy and do charitable work, to feel like a better person. With this, that means looking back at my past and apologizing to all of those that I may have hurt during my years of recklessness. In reality, you aren’t able to move on until you forgive yourself for your past.
I went through this incredibly destructive period in my life when I didn’t care about anyone but myself. I thought that it was just me taking advantage of my new found freedom and singledom, but in reality, I was just selfish. I was only looking out for myself and only taking into account of how my actions were going to benefit me.
NOT ONCE DID I THINK THAT BY BURNING SOME BRIDGES WITH MY EFFORTS THAT I WAS ACTUALLY SHUTTING MYSELF OFF TO SOME GOOD PEOPLE.
I can anticipate that some of my apologies will go unrecognized and be seen as too little too late, to which I understand. I can also see a mass explosion of hatred being thrown my way for the things that I have done, I’m prepared. But sometimes, just putting these things out there into the universe will make the world spin a little better.
After this apology tour, I know that I will hold no more grief or regret over my head for not saying these words sooner. I also hope that people can see that I have really changed and grown up from the person that I used to be.
So my words to you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this sooner, is to spread some love and ask for forgiveness. You don’t have to go back to the way that you were before whatever it was that put a rift in your relationship/friendship/family. You don’t have to forget what was done or the feelings of hurt. You don’t have to even accept what they have to say, all you have to do is say that you are sorry for the actions that you have taken to cause someone hurt. Don’t let the regret of not saying anything be held over your head and grief build to the point that you keep thinking “what if?” Allow yourself the opportunity to forgive and live.