Why Being Polite Isn't Always The Best Path

Respect matters. Those who ignore that fact don’t deserve your kindness.
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People are naturally destructive. They alter conversations, divulge pointless information, and spread toxicity in their wake. Such individuals don’t deserve polite treatment.

These folks rely on harmful behavior to gain something. To get their way in the face of countless odds, these individuals morph reality. They mutate a simple situation into an intense, prolonged issue. They partake in ridicule. They conveniently misunderstand basic circumstances. When another is wrongfully blamed, these people add false information to the fire.

Sound familiar?

Destructive individuals attack life with an angle. They maintain one perspective throughout the life of an issue. This outlook is formulated long before the heart of the problem arises.

Ambitious, cunning, and crafty – these destructive individuals will not falter. They will do all in their power to reach success. They pay no mind to the harm they may induce. No attention is given to potential consequences. The aftermath is never given proper consideration.

Ultimately, these individuals do whatever they can to thrive. And they don’t deserve your politeness.

Reaching a goal through assertion is one thing. But those who reach success through destruction are ignorant of the toxicity they spread. Their attitude and entire being is maintained impeccably; void of noticeable weakness.

They view the world as inferior.

You know these people. You likely meet or talk to one each day. They are the clientele shouting at customer service representatives. People who demean restaurant servers because too much ice was put in their soda. They are the folks who can’t look past one flaw to gain a better view of a larger picture.

These are the people who don’t deserve your polite attitude. Here’s why.

- Respect Must Be Earned

Civility cannot be ignored. Social interactions require polite conversation. Yet not everyone deserves this treatment.

Respect must be earned, regardless of the situation. Relationships matter. The social bonds that tie you to another are pertinent to your growth. Yet you can only endure so much ridicule before it becomes toxic.

Sacrifice is necessary. In both your personal and professional life, you’ll be forced into unwelcome situations. You will be cornered into incidents you would rather stay away from. You are often coerced to endure the undesirable.

Too often, you are placed in a group that seeps chaos; people you’d rather confront with a hearty dose of assertive feedback than play nice with.

Politeness establishes well-groomed relations – or so they say. And yet, respect must be earned. Attitude matters. The better you treat your peers, regardless of their background, the more compassionate their behavior will be.

Respect matters. Those who ignore that fact don’t deserve your kindness.

- A Little Empathy Goes a Long Way

You won’t agree with everyone.

Consider your surroundings – the people you interact with, every company program in which you participate, the city you call home. You come into contact with endless diversity each day. How could you possibly approve of everyone’s point of view?

Your clients may work higher paying jobs than you. In turn, they may sit a bit higher on the social totem pole than you and your coworkers. But if one treats you with empathy, you’ll be more inclined to treat them with politeness.

People believe assertion or aggressive behavior will win them their due. With enough complaints, these folks trust their concerns will be reconciled. But the one who looks on you in a positive light deserves your kindness. Those who treat you with aggressive disrespect must be dealt with differently.

Empathy highlights the best of humanity. Be polite towards those who illustrate this quality in abundance. Be cautious around those who don’t.

- A Gracious Attitude Can Be Detrimental to Your Well-Being

Is being a polite a bad thing? Could nice behavior damage your personal progress?

Folks, there is such a thing as being too nice.

You may get more done with a little gratitude and polite conversation, but this behavior can bring you down. It can force you into a toxic relationship detrimental to your emotional and physical well-being. In turn, you may think too much of people. With optimism, you may view the rough edges of a person with a creative eye. Rather than concentrating on the bad behavior, you will instead focus on the possibility for change.

But let’s be honest – not everyone is worthy of your better judgment. Not all deserve your open, kind-hearted attitude.

Aggression shouldn’t force you into bending to the will of others. Fixing and solving problems for others may feel easy. And yet, you shouldn’t give everyone the same treatment.

Clients, friends, acquaintances – they aren’t always worth your generosity. Too much politeness can lower your self-confidence. It will fashion you into a step stool, a person only used to achieve a larger goal. It will craft you into a person who will solve issues to ease tension, but may not realize the potential consequences until much later. And by that time, it will be too late. By then, it’ll be far too late to take anything back.

You needn’t be passive. You don’t need to be polite all the time. A little assertion will get you far.

Not All Are Worth Your Kindness

Those who thrive on toxicity aren’t worthy of gracious treatment. These folks rest on destructive behavior to gain what they want. Regardless of your polite nature, there are certain individuals you should be cautious of.

Killing people with kindness will only get you so far.

Be wary of those ignorant of respect. Take care around people who socialize without an empathetic bone in their body. Don’t care for everyone. Remember: too much generosity can belittle your self-confidence, one blow at a time.

Spread optimism and generosity where you can, but only do so where it’s deserved. Not all deserve to be treated with a polite nature.

How do you assert yourself in the face of an ignorant peer?

This article originally appeared on the author’s website, Eloquently Penned. Her pieces aim to uplift the soul. She crafts articles that enforce better living and a healthy ambition.

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